Gaia Community: Billy's Blog

Your Neighbor as Yourself

http://billyledford.gaia.com — Sat, 14 Feb 2009 17:31:21 GMT

The Greatest Commandment:

And one of the scribes came and heard them arguing, and recognizing that He had answered them well, asked Him, "What commandment is the foremost of all?" Jesus answered, "The foremost is, 'Hear, O Israel! The Lord our God is one Lord; and you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength.' "The second is this, 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no other commandment greater than these."

From A Course in Miracles:

"5 You cannot behave appropriately unless you perceive correctly. 6 Since you and your neighbor are equal members of one family, as you perceive both so you will do to both. 7 You should look out from the perception of your own holiness to the holiness of others." T-1.III.6.

"6 It is impossible for a child of God to love his neighbor except as himself. 7 That is why the healer's prayer is:

8 Let me know this brother as I know myself." T-5.in.3.

In a recent conversation with my Course teacher, I understood a teaching of the Course in a way that I hadn't before. The Course teaches that God has only one Son. The Course also teaches that the Son has many parts. Each of us make up the Son of God. We are all parts of the Sonship, and each part of the Sonship contains the whole.

Robert Perry has used the analogy of a hologram to describe this teaching. In his book Return to the Heart of God he writes,

"Yet even though these members are called parts, they are completely unlike parts as we know them. A car is a good example of how parts operate in this world. To make a car, you take separate parts, which are different in size, shape, and function, and assemble them together into a larger whole. The parts of God's Son, however, are nothing like that. They are not separate from each other; they are all one. They are not different in size, shape and function; they are exactly the same in every way. And they are not smaller pieces of a larger whole. Every part contains the whole; each part has the entire whole inside of it. Indeed, "every aspect is the whole" (T-13.VIII.5:3). Thus, the whole is not made up of smaller parts. Rather, each part is literally made of the whole. Though we cannot truly imagine this state, a useful analogy in our world is the hologram, every part of which contains the same three-dimensional image; each part contains the whole."

This is a truly radical teaching. The implications of this teaching, if fully embraced, will completely transform the way we relate to one another. What I realize is that if I attack my brother in any way, those same attack thoughts and behaviors are attacking me -- and not just me, but the entire Sonship. If I extend healing to my brother, I am being healed -- and not just me, but the entire Sonship. Also, as I accept the Atonement for myself, I am doing so for the entire Sonship. Healing in any one part of the Sonship is healing in the entire Sonship. Attack of any one part of the Sonship is attack on the entire Sonship.

Fortunately, attack is not real and has no real effect. It only seems to be real. Only love is real because only love can be truly shared. It makes so much sense to me now to realize that I learn what I am teaching and I receive what I am giving. If I teach only love, as the Course advocates, then I am learning it. As I give forgiveness, I am receiving it.

Understanding this one teaching is having a profound impact on my personal relationships. How can I attack any one person, knowing that I am attacking myself and the whole of the Sonship at the same time? How can I not extend love, forgiveness, or healing to any one of my brothers when withholding these from him is the same as withholding them from myself and the whole of the Sonship? This teaching is helping me to see exactly how it is that we are all one. And, realizing this, I am understanding why love is the only possible response to anyone, in any circumstance.

The second part of the Great Commandment is, "You shall love your neighbor as yourself." I use to understand this to mean that I am to love my neighbor in the same way (in the same manner) that I love myself. What I now understand this to mean is that my neighbor is myself. We are being instructed to love our neighbor as ourselves, because our neighbor is our very self.

Quotes from the Course:

"1 It should especially be noted that God has only one Son. 2 If all His creations are His Sons, every one must be an integral part of the whole Sonship. 3 The Sonship in its Oneness transcends the sum of its parts. 4 However, this is obscured as long as any of its parts is missing. 5 That is why the conflict cannot ultimately be resolved until all the parts of the Sonship have returned. 6 Only then can the meaning of wholeness in the true sense be understood. 7 Any part of the Sonship can believe in error or incompleteness if he so chooses. 8 However, if he does so, he is believing in the existence of nothingness. 9 The correction of this error is the Atonement." T-2.VII.6.

"6 ...[I]t makes no difference to what part or by what part of the Sonship the healing is offered. 7 Every part benefits, and benefits equally." T-5.in.2.

"3 The recognition of the part as whole, and of the whole in every part is perfectly natural, for it is the way God thinks, and what is natural to Him is natural to you." T-16.II.3

"3 It [attack] is unjustified in any form, because it has no meaning. 4 The only way it could be justified is if you and your brother were separate from the other, and all were separate from your Creator. 5 For only then would it be possible to attack a part of the creation without the whole, the Son without the Father; and to attack another without yourself, or hurt yourself without the other feeling pain." T-22.VI.12

"1 I thank You, Father, knowing You will come to close each little gap that lies between the broken pieces of Your holy Son. 2 Your Holiness, complete and perfect, lies in every one of them. 3 And they are joined because what is in one is in them all. 4 How holy is the smallest grain of sand, when it is recognized as being part of the completed picture of God's Son! 5 The forms the broken pieces seem to take mean nothing. 6 For the whole is in each one. 7 And every aspect of the Son of God is just the same as every other part." T-28.IV.9

"4 I thank You, Father, for Your perfect Son, and in his glory will I see my own." T-30.VI.9

Tags: Billy Ledford, A Course in Miracles, Robert Perry, Son of God, Sonship, The Greatest Commandment, love your neighbor as yourself, hologram

Dr. King's Six Principles of Nonviolence

http://billyledford.gaia.com — Sun, 18 Jan 2009 20:05:38 GMT

Here are the fundamental tenets of Dr. King's philosophy of nonviolence described in his first book, Stride Toward Freedom.

(1.) Nonviolence is not passive, but requires courage.

(2.) Nonviolence seeks reconciliation, not defeat of an adversary.

(3.) Nonviolent action is directed at eliminating evil, not destroying an evil-doer.

(4.) A willingness to accept suffering for the cause, if necessary, but never to inflict it.

(5.) A rejection of hatred, animosity or violence of the spirit, as well as refusal to commit physical violence.

(6.) Faith that justice will prevail.

Tags: Martin Luther King Jr., MLK Day, Nonviolence, Six Principles

What am I teaching?

http://billyledford.gaia.com — Sun, 26 Oct 2008 19:08:23 GMT

We are taught by the author of A Course in Miracles, "As you teach so shall you learn." This is one of my favorite teachings of the Course. Here is a quote from chapter 6 of the Text:

T-6.III.4. Since you cannot not teach, your salvation lies in teaching the exact opposite of everything the ego believes. 2 This is how you will learn the truth that will set you free, and will keep you free as others learn it of you. 3 The only way to have peace is to teach peace. 4 By teaching peace you must learn it yourself, because you cannot teach what you still dissociate. 5 Only thus can you win back the knowledge that you threw away. 6 An idea that you share you must have. 7 It awakens in your mind through the conviction of teaching it. 8 Everything you teach you are learning. 9 Teach only love, and learn that love is yours and you are love.

We are always teaching. We teach by our words and example -- by our behavior. It is also true that we are learning what we are teaching. As the Course also says, "What you teach you strengthen in yourself because you are sharing it. Every lesson you teach you are learning" (T-6.III.1:9-10).

In the CD set called "Walking the Path of Light," Robert Perry puts it this way:

1) Behavior expresses the beliefs that motivate it
2) It thus teaches those beliefs to others
3) By teaching those beliefs to others, it reinforces them within yourself. "What you share you strengthen" (T-5.III.3:5).

There are two questions that I like to ask myself from time to time that help me to assess my behavior -- two questions that I use as a form of meditative self-inquiry. They help me to uncover the beliefs that are motivating my behavior. They also help me to gently change my behavior if I see that it is not expressing beliefs that I value.

1) In this moment, what am I teaching?
2) In this moment, what do I want to learn?

Tags: Billy Ledford, A Course in Miracles, Robert Perry, Behavior, Teaching, Learning

From Vision to Function -- From Form to Content

http://billyledford.gaia.com — Sun, 19 Oct 2008 19:52:54 GMT

In a previous blog entry I described my experience of being at a retreat in St. Louis led by Ariel Tomioka and how she led us through an exercise which revealed our "vision of wholeness." I described how this vision has informed my life during the past 12 years or so and has become more detailed as I have imagined the form that it will take in the world. Recently I have revisited this vision and, thanks to my studies in A Course in Miracles, have realized that I have been living this vision all along without even realizing it.

In the last couple of months I have been engaging in an intense study of the Text of the Course (a three volume work with a Text, a Workbook and a Manual for Teachers). This study has been guided by weekly phone conversations with a Course teacher in Palm Springs, CA as well as my membership in the Circle Course Community (CCC) through the Circle of Atonement (http://www.circleofa.org/). I was introduced to my Course teacher through Robert Perry, founder of the Circle of Atonement and author of such books as Path of Light and Return to the Heart of God.

In a recent conversation with my teacher I understood the difference between my vision and what the Course calls our "special function." I have always associated my vision with a building. The very word "vision" implies that there is something "to see." I had this vision of a building that I called "The Center." It all started as a result of the exercise with Ariel Tomioka when I "saw" myself sitting with another person in what I knew was a therapeutic relationship. I went from that image of me sitting across from this person to an image of the building, the furniture, the rooms, the landscaping, etc. I believed that if I imagined it clearly enough then it would become my reality (as in the "law of attraction").

Because I developed this detailed vision of a building and all that it "means" to me, I had recently started to doubt that I was living my vision. I do not have a building. I have an office in my house. How can I live my vision if the outer form does not match the way that I have imagined it?

I have realized that, as long as I associate "living my vision" with a building or anything in the world of form, I will not believe that I am living it if the world does not conform to that vision. What I realized is that I have been looking in the wrong place. This is where the "special function" comes in.

According to the Course, all of us have a special function to play in the salvation of the world (similar to the bodhisattva of Buddhism who vows to serve all living beings and help them to attain enlightenment). All of us have the same function -- forgiveness - which, according to the Course, is the means of salvation. Each of us has a "special" way that we carry out that function -- this is our "special function." The special function is not something that requires any form to exist in the outer world before we can carry it out. Since it is simply about the special way that we extend forgiveness, its only requirement is that there be at least one other person for us to relate to so that forgiveness can be extended (and shared).

What I have realized is that I am engaging in my special function all of the time. It seems that my special function has something to do with my role as a therapist/teacher -- I say "seems" because the Holy Spirit could reveal something completely different to me, and I am open to that. My function is to extend forgiveness. How, when, where and with whom is my "special function."

My "vision of wholeness" and the insistence that it "look a certain way" has blinded me to what I have been doing all this time. I have been more focused on form ("the shape something takes" - Robert Perry, Glossary of Terms from A Course in Miracles) instead of on content ("the essential meaning which that form is meant to communicate" - Perry, Glossary of Terms). As long as I believe that form matters, I will spend my days trying to arrange the outer world a certain way. I will believe that my happiness is dependent on the best possible arrangement of forms in the outer world. If I can shift instead to content, then I will realize that what is more important is that I fulfill my function. Nothing in the world of form can make me fulfill my special function. Nothing in the world of form can keep me from fulfilling my special function.

As Jesus says in reference to our special function, "The content is the same. The form is suited to your special needs, and to the special time and place in which you think you find yourself, and where you can be free of place and time, and all that you believe must limit you. The Son of God cannot be bound by time nor place nor anything God did not will" (T-25.VII.7.).

How long will I continue to limit myself by time or place? How long am I going to "wait" before I realize who I am? How long am I going to make my brother wait before I extend to him the forgiveness that will set us both free - the forgiveness that is ours to share? What will need to take place for me to fulfill my special function in this world? The truth is, there is no time to wait and there is no "thing" that need be done. Glory, halleluiah!

Tags: Billy Ledford, A Course in Miracles, Robert Perry, Circle of Atonement, special function, vision of wholeness, Ariel Tomioka

At Santa Sabina Mother Mary is Present

http://billyledford.gaia.com — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 03:44:02 GMT

(Note: I wrote this poem on the fourth day of the 10-day silent meditation retreat I attended with Richard Miller in San Rafael, CA at the Santa Sabina Retreat Center. The quote from Our Lady of Medjugorje was from that day's meditation in the book Mary's Vineyard by Andrew Harvey. I read the quote after having written the poem. The picture attached to this entry shows the altar that the book was sitting on before the statue of Mary in the chapel.)

May 26 -- Our Lady, Medjugorje 1986
"If you abandon yourselves to me, you will not even feel the passage from this life to the next. You will begin to live the life of heaven on earth."

At Santa Sabina, Mother Mary is present.
I pray to her,
'Hail Mary, full of grace,
the Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women
and blessed is the fruit of they womb,
Jesus.

Holy Mary, Mother of God,

pray for us sinners, now

and at the hour of our death.

Amen'

Blessed is the fruit of thy womb.

Pray for us sinners, now

and at the hour of our death.

The fruit of thy womb...

The hour of our death...

Womb...

Death...

Who are you giving birth to?

Who is dying?

This birth is like a death.

Who knows who this new-born

will grow up to be?

All I know now is the pain

of this birth --

this birth that is also a death.
No one said it would be easy.
There is no anesthetic
to ease the pain.
Does it hurt you, Mother,
as much as it hurts me?
This labour is long and hard.
Who knows when it will end, if ever?
Kill me already! Put me out of my misery.
I am ready to be born.

At Santa Sabina, Mother Mary is present.
I pray to her,
'Blessed is the fruit of thy tomb.
Pray for us sinners, now
and at the hour of our birth.'

The fruit of thy tomb...
The hour of our birth...

Tomb...
Birth...

Who is dying?
Who is being born?
This death is like a birth...

"If you abandon yourselves to me, you will not even feel the passage from this life to the next. You will begin to live the life of heaven on earth."

Tags: Billy Ledford, Hail Mary, Mother Mary, Santa Sabina, iRest, Integrative Restoration, Richard Miller

From Conceptual to Perceptual Mountains

http://billyledford.gaia.com — Sat, 08 Dec 2007 19:21:23 GMT

"First there is a mountain,

Then there is no mountain,

Then there is."

--- Ch'an master Ch'ing yuan

Wei-hsin

As we practice Integrative Restoration - iRest - Yoga Nidra we will experience three movements - construction, deconstruction and re-entry. During the movement of construction we are learning how to welcome the countless structures or forms - the various bodies or sheaths and their respective sensations, emotions, thoughts, etc. - that arise in awareness. During the movement of deconstruction we experience all forms dissolve into their home ground of Pure Awareness. We are disidentifying from form - from the sheaths - and discovering ourselves as Awareness itself within which these forms arise and within which they ultimately dissolve. During the re-entry we return to the world of form-identity. However, we do so with the realization of who we really are. We are able to play in the world of form without the need to create a false identity.

"First there is a mountain..."

First, there are separate bodies and egos with their opposites of sensation, emotion, belief, etc. There is "me" and there is "you." There are mountains and there are valleys. We live in a world of duality - a world of separation.

"Then there is no mountain..."

Then, as we gradually deconstruct all form-identity through a process of deep self-inquiry, we experience the reality of non-separation and non-duality. We see that there are no separate bodies or egos. We see the illusory nature of all dualism and experience what Buddhists call "emptiness" - "the absence of conceptual construction" (Puhakka, 2007, p. 158).

"Then there is."

Finally, we seemingly return to the world of form, the world of separate bodies and egos, while retaining the knowledge of who we truly are. We are engaged in the world at the same time that we remain as True Nature. We realize that abiding in a state of "non-dual bliss" that is separate and apart from the world of duality is itself a form of dualism. It is as if we become the very embodiment of paradox itself - empty fullness, self as other, other as self.

"First there are conceptual mountains,

then there are no concepts,

then there are perceptual mountains"

--- Jean Klein

Meditative self-inquiry allows us to see reality clearly rather than through the filter of our concepts - our stories. At first we see through a dark glass. Then we see face to face.

One way to conceive of how this works with Integrative Restoration is to think of each sheath as if it were a layer of clothing. The constructive phase of iRest consists of integrating each sheath into the fabric of our self-identity and sensitizing ourselves to it. We are not attaching to the sheath. We are also not resisting it. We are learning to meet it with a sense of openness and welcoming.

We then begin the process of "disrobing" during the deconstructive phase. Beginning with the physical body, we welcome the sensations that arise and then take that layer of clothing off and drop it on the ground. Next, we cultivate awareness of the breath and of subtle energy before we take that layer of clothing off and drop it on the ground. We continue through each sheath - feelings and emotions, the intellect, bliss, and the "ego-I" - welcoming and then disrobing, until we get to what we know as our "essential nakedness." We are now restored to True Nature - Awareness Itself - free of identification with form.

Now that we are restored to our home ground of Awareness, we are ready for the re-entry. We are ready to return to the "marketplace." During this return journey we pick up each sheath. We put them back on, one layer at a time - the ego, the body of bliss, the intellect, the body of feelings and emotions, the subtle body of breath and energy, the physical body. The difference is that now we wear these sheaths more lightly. They no longer weigh us down. We know our "essential nakedness." We know who we are free of conceptual constructs. We know who we are without our stories.

There is also a potent image for these three movements of construction, deconstruction and re-entry - the image of the labyrinth. Before we enter the labyrinth we see and know the world of mountains and separate bodies and egos. Once we enter the labyrinth and begin the journey to the center, we are on the path of deconstruction. Eventually we reach the center - the core of who we are - the place of pure Presence. We quickly realize, however, that we cannot set up camp at the center of the labyrinth. The journey does not end there. We then take the same path that led us to the center and begin the process of re-entry. We return to the so-called world of mountains, bodies and egos, but now we know the truth...

First we know mountains,

then we "no" mountains,

then we know.

--- Billy Ledford

Tags: Billy Ledford, Jean Klein, Zen Buddhism, Yoga Nidra, Integrative Restoration, iRest, Richard Miller, Labyrinth

The "Holy Encounter"

http://billyledford.gaia.com — Fri, 23 Nov 2007 15:42:37 GMT

In my definition of nondual therapy I mention an aspect of the therapeutic relationship called a "holy encounter." This is an idea from A Course in Miracles that I think is very important when it comes to psychotherapy. But what is meant by this idea? What does a "holy encounter" look like or consist of? Here is how Robert Perry describes the holy encounter in his amazing book Return to the Heart of God: The Practical Philosophy of A Course in Miracles:

"One person allows into her mind a fresh perception of the other, and this sparks an encounter in which both individuals experience a new view of each other. The chalice of true perception is passed back and forth, and as they both drink of it, they are lifted together into a timeless moment. This moment may feel spiritual or it may not. Yet neither one will leave it the same person, and the change that enters in this moment may change countless lives beyond their own" (emphasis added).

He then goes on to say something about this "true perception":

"The true perception that is exchanged in these encounters is a way of seeing the other person that overlooks all that would make us recoil from him or her. This true perception, then, is simply another way of talking about forgiveness. Forgiveness is the active ingredient in holy encounters.... [T]he full power of forgiveness lies not in the private experience of it, but in the giving and receiving of it. That is where forgiveness has maximal power to change us and change the world around us. And that is why the Course teaches that it is 'holy encounters in which salvation can be found" (emphasis added).

You might then be wondering what the Course means by forgiveness. If you are not a student of the Course or if you have not read much about it, you will probably have a very different understanding of the concept of forgiveness than is taught in the Course. Perry often likes to distinguish between the "conventional view" and the "unconventional view" when it comes to many of the basic concepts of the Course. It is important that we understand the differences between these two views when it comes to the concept of forgiveness.

The conventional view of forgiveness is based in the belief in "the reality of sin." Here is how Perry defines it in his Glossary of Terms from A Course in Miracles:

"Giving up your resentment towards another and your right to punish him, even though you keep the perception that he sinned against you and that you are justified in resenting and punishing him. According to the Course, this forgiveness cannot forgive, for it affirms that the other sinned and thus is worthy of condemnation (yours and his own). It also affirms that you are holier than he, because he sinned and you forgave."

The unconventional view of forgiveness is based on the "unreality of sin." Here is how Perry defines it:

"Giving up your false perception that another sinned against you and that you are justified in resenting and punishing him.... Releasing another not from what he did, but from 'what he did not do,' from your [or his] misperception of what he did. This can forgive, for it frees your mind of resentment and releases the other from the accusation of sin and guilt. The rational behind forgiveness is that sin is not real. It is a wrong perception of attack. Attack has no power to do real harm, because what is real (in you and in your 'attacker') cannot be harmed or changed in any way. The ultimate rationale for forgiveness is that 'the separation never occurred,' that 'I am as God created me,' that 'God's Son is guiltless'" (emphasis added).

Perhaps now we can understand what is meant by these words that open the Course:

Nothing real can be threatened.
Nothing unreal exists.
Herein lies the peace of God.

What all of this tells me about the "therapeutic relationship" is that my client comes to my office with their false perception of sin and its resulting guilt. They come to me believing that they have sinned or that the world has sinned against them. They feel both guilt and resentment and believe that both of them are justified. If I am unconscious I will also get caught up in this misperception and start believing in this same worldview of sin, guilt and resentment.

My job as a therapist, then, is to allow a true perception to enter into the relationship and communicate that perception to my client (not necessarily in words at first). By not reacting to the client's misperception, but instead offering a wholly new perception, the potential is there for both of us to be lifted into a holy encounter. The client's perception of me (and of themselves) begins to change. By joining with the client in the unreality of sin and the reality that the separation never occurred, both of us are changed by this meeting. And, the ripple effect of that meeting extends in countless directions, impacting countless lives.

Tags: Billy Ledford, A Course in Miracles, nondual psychotherapy, holy encounter

Cognitive De-Structuring, De-framing, Deconstructing

http://billyledford.gaia.com — Sat, 10 Nov 2007 07:26:13 GMT

(An update on some previous entries)

The Work of Byron Katie is unlike anything else. However, it seems that the mind's job is to compare and contrast. The mind has a hard time with something if it can't place it in a category. And, any categorization of The Work is placing limits on it. At the same time, discussing The Work in these ways helps me to communicate better with my colleagues and clients. Of course better than describing The Work is doing The Work. The Work speaks for itself and describes itself in the doing of it.

That being said, here goes:

The approach to psychotherapy known as "Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy" is said to be a method of "cognitive restructuring." You identify your irrational thoughts and see how they lead to painful emotions like fear, depression, anger, etc. You then notice how those irrational thoughts and their resulting emotions lead to actions that cause even more pain for yourself and others. Thought = Emotion = Behavior.

Therefore, if we want to change our emotions and behavior we need to work on changing our thoughts. This is where cognitive restructuring comes in. We replace our irrational, unhealthy thoughts with rational, healthy ones. We "challenge" our unhealthy thinking. Healthy thinking will lead to healthy emotions that results in healthy behavior.

So, how does The Work of Byron Katie differ from this approach? Some people might think that The Work is just a re-packaged form of REBT. I use to tell people over and over again that this is not so. However, I had a hard time explaining how it differs. I have done much thinking about this and have come upon a way of explaining the differences that seems to make sense to me.

I know that I am not the first one to put it this way. One of my favorite books is The Sacred Mirror: Nondual Wisdom and Psychotherapy. There is a chapter in this book called "Deconstructing the Self: The Uses of Inquiry in Psychotherapy and Spiritual Practice" by Stephan Bodian that specifically refers to The Work along with other methods of inquiry. He essentially says the same thing that I have realized. He calls it "deconstructing" to distinguish it form "reconstructing." In Emptiness Dancing Adyashanti says it in his own way. He refers to the difference between "re-framing" and "de-framing." Along with those terms I would like to add a third - "cognitive de-structuring."

The little prefix "de" means "undoing." That other prefix "re" means "repetition of a previous action; back to an earlier state or condition; again; contrary." De-construction, de-framing and de-structuring, therefore, have to do with undoing our mental constructs, frames of reference, and thought structures. We are not repeating the same old process of creating mental constructs - no matter how "healthy" they might be. We are not going back to an earlier state. We are not doing again what has failed us in the past - i.e., constructing thoughts to explain reality. We are not creating thought forms that are contrary to the way things are.

The process, using The Work, is something like this: We identify our unhealthy thinking. We inquire into the truth of these thoughts and see that they are not true for us. We see the suffering that results from believing thoughts that are not true. We get a glimpse of what life would be like without these thoughts and we turn them around. All of this results in our thoughts loosening their grip on us. We do not change them. We do not stop them. We question them, and they let go of us. The thought structures are seen as just that - thought structures. They are not reality. And, as Eckhart Tolle says in A New Earth, "all structures are unstable."

Another way of putting this is that one approach has to do with moving from one way of thinking (unhealthy, irrational) to a different way of thinking (healthy, rational). The problem is that we are still operating in the realm of thinking. It is like taking a pig and putting lipstick and a dress on it -- you still have a pig.

The other approach is about moving from a way of thinking (stressful) to a way of being (peace itself). The fourth question of The Work is "Who would you be without that thought?" It is a question about being. The Work takes us out of the realm of thinking all-together and opens us up to our true nature.

We see that a pig is a pig no matter how we might dress it up. A thought is just a thought. It does not define reality no matter how "rational" or "healthy" it is. Who we are is that which is there before the thought, that which is background (often obscured) during the thought, and that which remains after the thought is questioned.

Tags: The Work of Byron Katie, Byron Katie, Billy Ledford, cognitive de-structuring, REBT, cognitive therapy

Putting Away the Sword

http://billyledford.gaia.com — Tue, 23 Oct 2007 12:15:06 GMT

(Note: This is a meditation that I wrote recently for my church's Advent Calendar that will be coming out soon.)

The one called "Prince of Peace" said, at the beginning of the violent conclusion to his earthly life, "Put your sword back where it belongs. For everyone who takes up the sword will be done in by the sword" (Matthew 26:52, Scholars Version). These were the last words that he spoke to his disciples before his crucifixion. It was his final teaching, if you will. He then faced betrayal, ridicule, scorn, violence and crucifixion - never once resisting, defending or retaliating. Even unto his death he was showing the Way.

During the season of Advent we are preparing our hearts and minds for the arrival of the Prince of Peace - the one who incarnated the Way, the Truth and the Life. What was this Way that Jesus taught and lived? What does his final teaching to his disciples reveal to us regarding this Way? In our times and in our lives, what would it mean for us to put away our swords?

According to many Biblical scholars, the summation of Jesus' teachings can be found in chapters 5-7 of Matthew's Gospel - traditionally called "The Sermon on the Mount." It is here that we are told that those who work for peace are known as God's children. It is here that Gandhi found his inspiration for the peace movement that he led in India. It is here that Jesus tells us to not react violently against the evildoer and to love our enemies. Through this sermon on a mountaintop, Jesus is revealing to us the fulfillment of the Law and the Prophets. He is a "new Moses," instructing all who can hear on a "new Way."

In the first three verses of chapter 7, Jesus says to us, "Don't pass judgment, so you won't be judged. Don't forget, the judgment you hand out will be the judgment you get back. And the standard you apply will be the standard applied to you" (SV). Compare these words to the ones quoted at the beginning of this meditation: "Put your sword back where it belongs. For everyone who takes up the sword will be done in by the sword." Jesus seems to be telling us the same thing in these two passages. Violence begets violence; hatred begets hatred; judgment begets judgment.

I am reminded of the words of Martin Luther King, Jr. who said, "To the degree that I harm my brother, no matter what he is doing to me, to that extent I am harming myself." To the degree that I judge my brother or sister, to that extent I am judging myself. To the degree that I inflict violence in any way (thought, word or deed), to that extent I am my own victim. The sword that I think I am using against my fellow human being is being plunged into my own heart. The sword of violence, the sword of judgment, does me in.

During this season of Advent, during every season of our lives, may we heed Jesus' words. May we put away our swords. May we accept our function as "peacemakers." May we practice forgiveness and reconciliation. May we all follow Jesus' Way, Jesus' Truth and Jesus' Life.

Dear God, please give me the courage, the heart, to walk in the Way of Jesus.

Give me the courage to love in the face of hate,

to forgive in the face of what seems unforgivable,

and to put away the sword that I might know the peace that is my birthright.

Amen

Tags: Advent, peacemaking, Jesus, judgment, nonviolence, Christianity, Billy Ledford

Truth Itself

http://billyledford.gaia.com — Tue, 09 Oct 2007 03:23:51 GMT

During the Yoga Nidra training at Kripalu, we did several dyads. The dyads were ways that we could practice guiding an individual through one of the sheaths. I had some very interesting experiences with the dyads. There was one that was especially powerful for me.

We were exploring the sheath of intellect. My dyad partner facilitated me first. She guided me through a short body scan and then asked me to see if I could find a thought or belief that was spontaneously arising. I said to her, "I am too intellectual."

"Good," she said. "Now, see if there is a deeper thought."

This took me off guard. I was not expecting her to say that. I delved deeper into myself and came up with the thought, "I don't live my way into truth." This new thought was similar to the first. Historically, I have had the experience of being more in my head - spirituality as a head-trip.

She then said, "Great. Now, can you find a deeper thought than that one?"

This was frustrating to me. I wondered how much longer she was going to do this? I went deeper and said to her, "I am not the truth."

Very gently she said, "OK, one more time. Can you find a thought underneath that one?"

I responded, "I am a liar."

I then proceeded to tell her an abbreviated version of the story about my ex-step-father creating a sign for me on two poster-boards that read, "I AM A LIAR." This really surprised me. This story keeps coming back up for me. I keep thinking I am finished with it, and then there it is again.

My dyad partner asked me to describe where I felt this belief in my body. I described a feeling of emptiness in the core of my body, around the stomach area. She said to me, "the solar plexus - the place of identity and self-esteem." She then asked me to step back from the sensation into Awareness itself and then describe what I felt. This is one of the most important aspects of Yoga Nidra. You experience the sensation, emotion or thought fully. Then you "step back" (dis-identify) and step into Awareness itself (of course, we are not stepping anywhere, since Awareness is all-pervasive). You then describe what you experience in this "placeless place." I described, "an enveloping, embracing kindness or compassion." It was if I was being held and embraced by Love itself.

This was a powerful experience for me. Never before had I made the connection between this core belief and my tendency to intellectualize. Intellectualizing = being a liar. Staying in my head, playing around in the realm of theory, keeps me from embodying my truth. Since this brief experience with Yoga Nidra, I see how "I am a liar" could very well be my linchpin belief.

Later that evening I walked the labyrinth at Kripalu (see the picture above). During the walk to the center of the labyrinth, I did The Work on the belief, "I am a liar." Once I reached the center I sat down on the grass and turned the belief around to, "I am Truth Itself." I sat with this turnaround for a while before beginning the slow walk back out into my life. During my return walk I repeated the turnaround to myself over and over and reflected on how, no matter what my past or my future - no matter what happens on the relative plane - my very being is Truth Itself. And, nothing can change that.

Once I exited the labyrinth I tore a sheet of paper from my journal and wrote the words, ..."I am a liar" with an arrow pointing to the words, "I am Truth Itself"... I placed the slip of paper beneath a rock in the labyrinth and left it behind. Now, when I practice Yoga Nidra, my heart-felt prayer is "I am Truth Itself."

Later that evening I was reading the iRest manual and the following words struck me. They reminded me of what it felt like when I stepped back into Awareness during this dyad:

"True Nature... is like a mother's loving, non-judging and compassionate caress. It surrounds and pervades all, sorrow, conflict, grief, pain and joy, with compassionate tenderness and love."

Tags: Kripalu, labyrinth, Yoga Nidra, Integrative Restoration, iRest, The Work of Byron Katie, Billy Ledford

Yoga Nidra, Part 2

http://billyledford.gaia.com — Sun, 02 Sep 2007 19:20:53 GMT

Kripalu is wonderful! My only "complaint" is with the lack of air-conditioning. It is interesting meditating when there is perspiration rolling down your forehead. Even better than Kripalu (see the picture above) was the training on Yoga Nidra (Integrative Restoration -- iRest). I really enjoyed it and have a greater appreciation for the process and its applicability in my personal and professional life.

In a nutshell, Yoga Nidra has two main "movements":

1) We are learning how to welcome all that is -- including our reactions to what is.

2) We are seeing that all of these "objects" that we are welcoming are not who we really are -- they are subject to change -- to birth, life, decay and death. We therefore begin to live as our True, Unchanging, Immovable, Invulnerable, Compassionate Nature. We begin to live our way into the answer to Byron Katie's question, "Who would you be without your story?"

One way that Richard Miller put it during the training is that our problematic sensations, emotions, beliefs, reactions, etc. can be viewed as messengers. Our job is then to welcome them in and inquire into what they are telling us. We will continue to dwell on the past and deal with its residues until we get the message -- until we learn how to welcome what is with all of the resulting sensations, emotions, thoughts, etc. that are triggered in us. Until we do that we are the victims of a past that only lives as a story.

We can also get to the point where we realize that the abuse, betrayal, slight, etc. did not happen to "us." It happened to our bodies (our physical, energetic, emotional, mental, bliss and ego-I bodies). However, our True Nature can never be hurt because it is invulnerable. When we realize our selves as True Nature we no longer resist or attach to anything. Situations come and go, emotions come and go, thoughts come and go -- True Nature is changeless, immovable and timeless.

The actual process is perhaps too complicated to describe in a blog entry. I recommend that anyone who is interested read Richard Miller's essay called "The Principles and Practice of Yoga Nidra" found on his website www.nondual.com.

I asked Richard how he felt about me integrating Yoga Nidra with The Work of Byron Katie and he said he thought that would be perfectly fine since they are, "the same thing." He mentioned Katie often in the training and said that he will be adding her book Loving What Is to his suggested reading list in the manual that he gave us. I can certainly see how the two processes work very well together.

I end with a quote from Richard that summarizes what regular practice of Integrative Restoration -- iRest -- Yoga Nidra does for us:

"iRest is both a technique of relaxation as well as a method that reveals our innate, physical, emotional, mental and spiritual well-being across all dimensions of our body and mind, as well as evokes spiritual enlightenment or Self-realization. It blends together practices of deep relaxation, breathing, one-pointed concentration, emotional and cognitive healing, identification with objects, and meditative inquiry that allows us to recognize our inherent ground of Being. When assembled together, these constitute a potent method of meditation that teaches a comprehensive approach to stress reduction as well as spiritual awakening" (from the Level I Training Manual).

Tags: Yoga Nidra, Integrative Restoration, iRest, Kripalu, The Work of Byron Katie, Richard Miller, Meditation, Billy Ledford

Yoga Nidra

http://billyledford.gaia.com — Mon, 20 Aug 2007 02:58:52 GMT

In a week I will be traveling to the Kripalu Center in Lenox, MA for a five day Yoga Nidra training with Richard Miller (www.nondual.com). Richard Miller is the author of the book/CD from Sounds True called Yoga Nidra: The Meditative Heart of Yoga. I will be attending the Level I Training. Level II will be in January in Maryland. By completing both levels I will be well on my way to becoming a Certified Yoga Nidra Instructor.

Yoga Nidra is a meditation practice that has two phases. Phase one is the constructive phase -- you focus on various "bodies" or sheaths and rotate awareness through the opposites of sensation, emotion, thought, etc. The second phase is the deconstructive phase -- you shift emphasis from the content of awareness to Awareness itself. Yoga Nidra is a nondual approach to meditation in that it helps you to expand your capacity to embody Awareness -- Presence, Unchanging Equanimity, Unconditioned Mind -- in your day-to-day life.

I feel that my training in Yoga Nidra will greatly enhance my practice of The Work of Byron Katie (personally and professionally) and will enable me to take my therapy practice to a whole new level. I want to start a "deconstructive therapy group" where the participants will learn how to use both The Work and Yoga Nidra to deconstruct the stories and stressful beliefs that obscure the truth of who they are.

I am sure that there will be more to come on my experience at Kripalu when I return...

Tags: Yoga Nidra, Integrative Restoration, iRest, Richard Miller, nondual psychotherapy, meditation, The Work of Byron Katie, Kripalu Center, Billy Ledford

Nondual Therapy

http://billyledford.gaia.com — Sat, 21 Jul 2007 22:14:56 GMT

I have recently been trying to determine what exactly is meant by the term "nondual" therapy. Having studied it for a while now, I feel that this approach to therapy suits me and my style more than any other. However, I have had a hard time describing it to others when they ask me what it is all about. Part of the problem is that we are dealing with words and concepts and the nondual approach is non-conceptual.

To help me with this I read through one of my favorite books on nondual therapy called The Sacred Mirror: Nondual Wisdom and Psychotherapy. I typed up many of my favorite quotes from this book and looked for themes and similar ideas. I also drew from my experience with The Work of Byron Katie and more recently with Yoga Nidra as taught by Richard Miller. I then took into consideration much of what I have learned from A Course in Miracles and the suppliment to the Course called Psychotherapy: Purpose, Process and Practice. Here is what I have come up with so far:

My Definition of Nondual Therapy

The goal of nondual therapy is to discover who we are without our stories and to expand our capacity to embody True Nature - Welcoming, Spacious Awareness - in every aspect of our lives.

Nondual therapy is rooted in the assumption that our perception of "problems" is itself the problem (which really isn't a problem). The self-improvement project is a subtle form of self-directed aggression. Who we are does not need improving.

By de-constructing our "self and world construct system" (James Bugental's term) we are able to uncover underlying, unchanging equanimity, or Presence, and strengthen our capacity to embody Awareness in our day-to-day existence.

This therapeutic process occurs in a certain type of relationship - a "holy encounter" in which what is awake in the therapist meets what is awake in the client - thus healing the client's (and therapist's) perception of self, other and world.

Tags: nondual, nondual psychotherapy, psychotherapy, Yoga Nidra, The Work of Byron Katie, A Course in Miracles, Billy Ledford

My Personal Credo

http://billyledford.gaia.com — Sun, 24 Jun 2007 23:34:47 GMT

I am teaching Sunday School again this summer. We are doing a study of the book The Emerging Christian Way: Thoughts, Stories and Wisdom for a Faith of Transformation. Last week we were on Chapter Three "New Creeds," and I gave everyone an assignment to write their own personal credo.

The word "credo" traditionally means "I believe." However, there are other ways to express the meaning of "credo" that have less to do with "belief" and more to do with what we "love" or "trust in." Instead of "I believe" we can say "I give my heart to," "I affirm," "I trust in," etc. This is a more relational way of speaking and seems truer to this "emerging" way of being Christian that many of us are living.

Here is what I came up with as my own "personal credo." It is probably not a finished product. However, I wanted to share it here and would love to hear what others think. How would you express your own personal credo?

This is my credo as a Christian. In that sense it does not encompass all that I give my heart to. To make it more broad I would probably change "Jesus" to "the way showers" (like Jesus, Buddha, Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Jr., the Dalai Lama, etc.) and "The Body of Christ" to "the sangha" (the larger community of truth). However, I did not want to "water it down" by making it less Christian. So, here goes:

My Personal Credo

I give my heart to God - the power and the love - who resides in all hearts and encompasses all that is - who is fully immanent and transcendent - within whom I live, move, and have my being.

I give my heart to Jesus - the man - who shows me the way to die to my own selfish agendas and be born again to a life of compassionate service and peace-making.

I give my heart to The Body of Christ - the community - each member sharing its gifts - each member having a place - each part essential to the whole.

I give my heart to Humanity - the mirror - in which I see myself reflected back - the best that I can be - the worst that I can be - ever striving - ever arriving in this perfect moment to meet Itself.

I give my heart to this Life - the Word made flesh - incarnate in this body, on this earth, at this point in time - perfect in its imperfection - the meeting place of heaven and earth.

Tags: credo, Christianity, beliefs, emergent church, Emerging Christian Way, Spiritual Path, Billy Ledford

Who Would You Be Without Defense?

http://billyledford.gaia.com — Sat, 26 May 2007 04:17:55 GMT

What Are Defense Mechanisms?

For the most part, defense mechanisms are unintentional and automatic shields against a threat to our egos or bodies. We could actually say that we are protecting our "ego-bodies" since our bodies are actually extensions of our egos (Note: this is a reversal of the "conventional" view that the ego is an extension of the body). A few other terms that we can use to describe the same thing are "personality," "constructed self" and "self-image." This is what we are protecting when we act in a defensive manner.

This ego-body is subject to change. It is impermanent, and its main function becomes to continue its existence. In order to "stay alive" it has to create an elaborate system of defenses. And, since deep down the ego-body knows that it is impermanent - since it knows that this system of defense will ultimately fail in "the end" - it must try harder and harder to convince us that it is real and that it needs protecting.

"Beneath" this ego-body is what we might refer to as awareness, essence, being, consciousness, Self with a capital "S." This is who/what we really are. This is our eternal, unchanging nature. Who we are needs no defense because it cannot be attacked. The ego-body is vulnerable to attack. Who we are is invulnerable. As long as we identify with the ego-body, we will feel a need to defend ourselves. Once we understand our true nature, we will become truly defenseless and live from a place of openness and authenticity.

How Defense Mechanisms Develop

When we come into this world we are very "vulnerable." We are not born with protective armor, sharp fangs, or other types of defenses that we see in nature. We learn early on certain ways of talking and acting that serve the function of defending us from perceived threats. These defense mechanisms serve a valuable function related to personal survival. However, it is a survival of a "constructed self" - a false self. Although developing this "constructed self" is an important step in our development as a personality, continuing to maintain this "self" later in our lives can become the source of much suffering.

The problem is that these same defenses that served a valuable function at one time in our lives begin to hurt us later on. Protecting ourselves becomes a means of keeping people (all people) away from us. The walls that keep out the "bad guys" also keep out the "good guys" and keep us trapped inside. It is hard to relate to someone who is always on guard.

We also use these same defense mechanisms to protect our addictions or other self-destructive behavior that we use to make ourselves feel good. These behaviors give us comfort. They help us cope. They seem to take the pain away and make life more bearable. If our crutches are threatened we get protective of them. We will do whatever we can to keep them intact.

What it Means to be "Defenseless"

When we recognize our defenses and begin the process of dismantling them, we might get very nervous. We might be worried that we will be hurt. "De-constructing" our "constructed self" can leave us feeling exposed. In our minds to be defenseless means to be vulnerable, and we believe that vulnerability is never good.

Actually, nothing could be further from the truth. Being defenseless means realizing our inherent invulnerability. It means realizing that only the ego-body needs defending. Who we are needs no defense. It is only when we let our guard down and take the risk of being fully known and exposed to another that we can know true connection and relationship. Of course, we might still get defensive from time to time. However, as we get more practice in questioning our defenses, we can get to the point where defensiveness is no longer our habitual way of being.

Questioning Our Defenses

The questions we need to ask ourselves are:

Is it true that I need to live in a state of constant defense?
How do I live my life when I think that I have to defend myself in this way?
What would my life be like (Who would I be) if I did not live in this defensive manner?

These questions are restatements of the four questions that make up The Work of Byron Katie. The Work is a very simple, yet powerful way to question our stressful thoughts and find "the peace that surpasses all understanding." Here are the original four questions that we can use to finally understand the beliefs that support our defenses:

1. Is it true?

2. Can you absolutely know that it's true?

3. How do you react when you believe that thought?

4. Who would you be without that thought?

After answering the four questions we then take the statement and turn it around. We can usually turn it around in three different ways - to the opposite, to ourselves, and to the other.

Through this process we understand that the thought we have been believing for so long is untrue; we get to see the suffering that results from believing this thought; we get to experience what life without this thought would bring; we see that the opposites of what we have been believing are just as true and often truer. The more we do The Work the less of a hold these painful thoughts have on our minds. We become more and more free, open, peaceful and non-defensive.

Tags: Defense Mechanisms, The Work of Byron Katie, Defenseless, Billy Ledford

The Center For Awakened Living, LLC

http://billyledford.gaia.com — Wed, 14 Mar 2007 03:32:28 GMT

I can not believe it! We are making it a reality. My partner and I are starting our private practice. More than that, we have started a Limited Liability Company called "The Center for Awakened Living, LLC." How amazing is that? I wanted to share this here and share a little about what we are going to be "about." It is late in the evening (for me), but I wanted to take the time to share some of my work to define who we are and what my approach to therapy will be.

(Note: Our logo is the labyrinth of Chartres Cathedral)

About Our Name:

"Awakening" - Waking up from our beliefs, self-concepts, and stressful stories. Waking up to our original nature, our basic goodness, who we are without our stories.
"Awakened Living" - Embodying this awareness in compassionate action. Living it out in our day-to-day lives in our families, at work, in our communities.

About Our Logo:

The Labyrinth - A metaphor for the journey to both awakening and awakened living. There is one path that leads in a circuitous way to the center - the place of presence and being - the core of who we are. This is the path of "awakening." This "inner" path is only half of the journey, however. The same path that takes us to the center of the labyrinth also takes us back out into the world. It is by taking this "outer" path that we live out our realization in the world. Our realization means nothing until it is lived. This is what we call "awakened living."

Being your true self on the mountaintop is one thing. Being your true self at a family reunion is another thing altogether. It is important that we learn how to fully embody what we discover about ourselves during the therapy hour in the nitty-gritty of our daily lives.

Our Mission Statement:

The Center for Awakened Living, LLC is committed to innovative approaches to resolving psychological, emotional and interpersonal conflicts. Through individual and group psychotherapy, awareness practices, non-violence training and compassionate community involvement we assist individuals in awakening to their true nature and in fostering a way of living that results in embodying awareness in compassionate action.

The main therapeutic interventions that I will use will be The Work of Byron Katie and Interpersonal Process Therapy (individual and group). I will also eventually teach what I like to call "Everyday Nonviolence" -- a way of living out the principles of Gandhi and Martin Luther King, Jr., as well as the realizations of The Work of Byron Katie, in our day-to-day lives.

Tags: psychotherapy, interpersonal process, The Work of Byron Katie, labyrinth, The Center for Awakened Living, Billy Ledford

"Our job is to maintain safety." Is that true?

http://billyledford.gaia.com — Sat, 24 Feb 2007 18:43:39 GMT

"Our job is to maintain a safe, therapeutic environment for our clients." I have said this many times. Other staff members have said this many times. This has been part of our basic philosophy for as long as I can remember. What is meant by "safe," and what type of treatment center do we create when we think that providing safety is one of our primary responsibilities?

"Our job is to maintain safety." Is that true? Can we really know that this is in the best interest of our clients? When I sit with these first two questions the only answer that ultimately comes up is "no." Granted, I can find many "reasons" to justify maintaining safety. However, when I really inquire deeply into this thought and the question "is it true?" I start to see how unrealistic it is. It seems that any "safety" that we create or maintain will be an illusion. In my experience safety can not be maintained or created. Safety is something that I experience when I open myself up to the fullness of life. When I am closed off and protected, I feel unsafe. When I am open and exposed, paradoxically, I feel the safest.

"Our job is to maintain safety." How do we as a staff react when we believe this thought? How do we treat our clients when we believe this thought? Does it cause stress or peace in our facility? We become vigilant about looking for unsafe behavior. We treat our clients with the assumption that they are too fragile or immature to deal with certain situations. This thought creates much stress in our facility. The staff are burdening themselves with the responsibility of maintaining safety for our clients instead of helping our clients to see that they can experience safety no matter what is going on around them.

"Our job is to maintain safety." Who would we be as a staff if we could not think this thought? How would we treat our clients differently without this thought? What would life be like in our treatment center without this thought? We would be there with our clients as they face many different situations. We would trust more in the resilience of our clients and in their abilities to deal with whatever comes up. The staff could relax and stop looking so hard for "problems." The staff would start trusting the clients to deal with the issues that come up without us having to come to their rescue. The clients would then feel more empowered and prepared to deal with life in the "real world" -- a world that is complicated, unpredictable and constantly changing.

"Our job is to maintain safety." How might we turn this thought around? "Our job is not to maintain safety." "The client's job is to maintain safety." "Our job is to dismantle safety." "Our job is to reveal reality." Let's look more closely at "Our job is to dismantle safety" and "Our job is to reveal reality."

The opposite of "maintain" seems to be "dismantle." Seeing reality as "unsafe" is a story that we tell ourselves about reality, about the world in and around us. Byron Katie tells us, "Reality is always kinder than the story we tell about it." My experience has also been that reality is kind. Even when someone else might tell the story that a situation is unsafe, it is possible to have the experience that the situation is perfect, just as it is. Our job can be to stop trying to maintain or manufacture a sense of safety and instead help our clients to see reality more clearly -- a reality that is safe, kind and perfect at the same time that is complicated, unpredictable and constantly changing. If we lived these two turnarounds we might change our basic philosophy. We could change it to "Our job is to be there with our clients as they learn to face life on life's terms."

What about the turnaround "The client's job is to maintain safety"? It is the client's job to maintain (realize, recognize, discover) the safety that already exists. Katie has also said, "Everything exists to support you - and only you." "Everything" includes what might seem to be "unsafe." It is the client's job to realize that, no matter the situation on the "outside," their experience can be one of "safety and support." I am learning more and more that no matter what happens, I am safe. No matter the situation, I am supported. Safety is an inner reality that our clients can discover for themselves. Then they will see that the world reflects back to them the safety that they are. This is not something that we can impose on our clients. It is something that they have to experience for themselves. It is not our job. It is there job.

It was while reading Katie's new book, A Thousand Names for Joy, that I was prompted to write this essay. Her commentary on Chapter 58 of the Tao Te Ching is amazing. Here is my turnaround of the paragraph at the bottom of page 186 that begins with the sentence, "It's painful to think you know what's best for your children."

"It's painful to think we know what's best for our clients. It's hopeless. When we think that we need to protect them, we're teaching them anxiety and dependence. But when we question our minds and learn how not to be mentally in their business, finally there's an example in the facility: someone who knows how to live a happy life. They notice that we have our act together and that we're happy, so they start to follow. We have taught them everything they know about anxiety and dependence, and now they begin to learn something else, something about what freedom looks like."

I realize that this is my truth. I cannot and will not impose my experience on the clients or staff. I love that I have found a way to question my own stressful thoughts. I love that I have found that no matter what happens, I am safe. I love that I can live from this place of inner and outer safety. My hope is that others will be able to know the safety, support and peace that is always present whether seen or not.

Of course, I realize that we have a responsibility to maintain as much order and stability in our treatment center as possible. We cannot let the clients do whatever they want. I just worry when we tell our clients that our job is to keep them safe or that we will keep them safe. I do not see that we have the power to do that. We cannot know what is going to happen, and we cannot always know what to do to prevent unsafe situations. However, we can be there. We can be there with our clients as life happens. We can support them in finding their own inner strength. We can support them in learning how to address difficult situations as they arise. We can be there with them as they discover they are already safe.

Tags: The Work, safety, addiction treatment, Billy Ledford

Addiction Treatment

http://billyledford.gaia.com — Sat, 03 Feb 2007 16:25:23 GMT

I like to refer to addiction as a "bio-psycho-social-spiritual disease." I see recovery addressing all of these aspects in the form of 1) physical health through diet and exercise, 2) mental clarity through questioning the "stinking thinking" that rules the addicts life, 3) social well-being through healing relationships (usually fostered by group therapy and AA fellowship), and 4) heightened awareness of the already present, but unrecognized, spiritual connection.

It seems to me that the 12-Step program contains all of the above (except perhaps diet and exercise). It is a wonderful program. Then if you add to it such things as "The Work of Byron Katie," interpersonal process group psychotherapy, mindfulness meditation or other spiritual disciplines, yoga, tai chi and/or nature walking and a balanced, organic diet, then you would have a great recovery program. Of course, this is my "dream" recovery center.

Personally, I am growing tired of the approach to recovery that says that all addicts have "post traumatic stress disorder" (PTSD) and need only deal with the trauma and shame. Often the implication is once they do that they have no reason to use substances. This approach might de-value AA and the whole process of incorporating a structured, spiritual program into the person's daily life. It does not see addiction as a disease in and of itself, but as a coping mechanism to help the person deal with the underlying trauma.

Of course, there are some individuals who do have PTSD and need trauma counseling. Yes, they need to allow themselves to face the "trauma" and work through it. However, that does not "heal" them of the addiction. Trauma work is much like addressing only the psychological aspects of addiction. We also need to address the physical, social and spiritual. And, the addict will need to continue to address all four aspects of addiction for the rest of their life, or they will use again.

Tags: addiction, addiction treatment, PTSD, Billy Ledford

The Course and The Work

http://billyledford.gaia.com — Wed, 31 Jan 2007 17:21:38 GMT

Lately I have been reading a fantastic book by Course Teacher, Robert Perry. The book is called Return to the Heart of God: The Practical Philosophy of A Course in Miracles. This is the first time that I have read a book on the Course that really helps me to understand the Course's "thought-system." I highly recommend it.

I am also amazed at the many connections that I am finding between the Course and The Work of Byron Katie. Actually, you could say that there are connections between the Course and just about any of the modern Non-dual teachers such as Byron Katie, Eckhart Tolle (the "format" of Perry's book and Tolle's A New Earth are strikingly similar to me), Adyashanti, etc. However, since I am so immersed in The Work, I am seeing more similarities between it and the Course.

I found the following quote from the Course very helpful in understanding why it is that The Work is so effective:

"You cannot evaluate an insane belief system from within it. Its range precludes this. You can only go beyond it, look back from a point where sanity exists and see the contrast. Only by this contrast can insanity be judged insane." (Text, Ch. 13, Sec. VII, Par. 6:1-4)

This passage explains so much to me about The Work. I see how question #4 (Who would you be without this thought?) allows me to "see the contrast" between Reality without the thought and the point of view of believing the thought (#3, How do you react when you think that thought?). Question #4 and the turnarounds allow me to "look back from a point where sanity exists" and see my insane thoughts for what they are.

One of the differences between the Course and The Work it is that with the Course, the Holy Spirit is the one that provides this new view-point. We allow the Holy Spirit (the Voice of God) to gradually change our thought-system from one ruled by the ego and its illusions to one that is rooted in Reality. With The Work we use the four questions and the turnaround. Both, however, lead to the same place -- the real-ization that what we thought was true wasn't and an ever-deepening "knowing" of what is and always has been True.

Of course, I am over-simplifying things. The Course is a very complex text with many different ways of interpreting it. My understanding of the Course is very elementary at this time. However, I am still very excited about seeing the connections between it and The Work. I am excited about how my understanding if the Course is helping me to appreciate The Work more. And, I am ever grateful that I have discovered the power of The Work in my life and in the lives of those I Work with.

Tags: The Work of Byron Katie, The Work, A Course in Miracles, Billy Ledford

Ariel Tomioka and My Vision of Wholeness

http://billyledford.gaia.com — Sat, 23 Dec 2006 00:16:23 GMT

An associate of mine (Carol S.) recently wrote about how she did a "Google" search on herself and found a blog about her written by her best friend from high school. This was a friend that she had not spoken to in many years due to an argument, and she was thrilled that she was now reconciling with her. This got me thinking. I decided that I would try something similar and see if I could re-connect with a long-lost friend.

It would be more accurate to call her a long-lost teacher. Her name is Ariel Tomioka, and she changed my life in many ways. She is the author of an autobiographical novel called On the Breath of the Gods. I am not sure if this book is in print any more. I am also not sure if Ariel is still writing and teaching. I have not spoken to her in about 12 years.

I cannot even remember how I discovered her. What I do know is that she was a former member of a "new age" religion called Eckankar that I was also a member of at one time. She had left the religion and started teaching on her own. She had come a long way from the doctrines of Eckankar and her teachings were more influenced by Jungian Psychology, Quantum Physics and "creative types" such as Rainer Maria Rilke and Robert Henri.

I attended her "Art Spirit Retreat" in 1993 and her "Spiritual Leadership Training" that was held, I believe, in 1994. Both of these were held in St. Louis. It was the "Art Spirit Retreat" that was the most influential for me. I had two experiences at this retreat that affected me profoundly and that I will never forget. I have written about one already in my blog titled "Waking Dreams." This was the experience that I had walking the maze at the Botanical Gardens. The other experience was an exercise that Ariel guided us through called "Your Vision of Wholeness."

She guided us through a meditation in which we were to, first, imagine that we were completely, physically content and at peace. She then asked us to imagine that we were emotionally, then mentally, then spiritually at peace and contended. This meditation took several minutes. Once we had this "feeling" of physical, emotional, mental and spiritual peace, we were instructed to "see" what we were doing that was giving us this amazing feeling. I immediately saw myself sitting with another person in what I knew was a therapeutic relationship of some sort. This became my "Vision of Wholeness."

Once I got home I started telling Richard all about my trip and about the various exercises. When I started to tell him about my new Vision he interrupted me and said that he had been thinking while I was gone. He had "decided" that I needed to go back to college. I told him, "I know I do" and proceeded to tell him about my Vision. I thought that I would major in psychology, but Richard, a social worker, convinced me to get my master's degree in social work.

Ever since then this Vision has continued to inform my life and guide me through many different phases. My Vision has also evolved and has become very detailed. I "see" the building that I will be working in. I "see" the furniture and pictures on the walls. I even have a name for it - "The Ouachita Center for Awakened Living" ("Ouachita" is the parish that I live in and the river that separates Monroe, LA from West Monroe, LA - it is named after the Ouachita Indians and means "Silver Waters").

I realize that I might not ever "realize" this Vision of mine. I am also very happy with where I am in my life at this moment. But, I am still working towards this Vision and still get excited just thinking about it. Ariel use to say that she wants to "die with her boots on." She wants to die "right in the middle of my life's work." In other words, she wants to truly live, until the day she dies. She does not want to hold anything back or put off happiness ‘til some future time. She also doesn't want to feel that she has to finish anything before she dies. She wants to live every moment of her life like it is her last.

Ariel and I went our "separate ways" right after the "Spiritual Leadership Training." At the time I was young and naïve and felt that I was growing beyond her. I might have even hurt her feelings with some of what I had said to her. I feel really horrible about this and would love to let her know. I am so grateful to her and all that she showed me about myself. I want her to know this and understand that I was wrong in what I said to her.

I now have a new, female, spiritual teacher in Byron Katie. I went to her "School for The Work" this year and am now even closer to my Vision as a result. I view The Work as the most powerful therapeutic and spiritual tool that I have ever come across. I am very excited about the direction my life is taking and the many blessings that I have had.

Ariel Tomioka ----- Byron Katie ----- two women who have "shown me the way" and have "mothered" me in ways that they will probably never know. Thank you both so very much.

Tags: Ariel Tomioka, Vision, wholeness, reconciliation, Billy Ledford