"Our job is to maintain safety." Is that true?

"Our job is to maintain a safe, therapeutic environment for our clients."  I have said this many times.  Other staff members have said this many times.  This has been part of our basic philosophy for as long as I can remember.  What is meant by "safe," and what type of treatment center do we create when we think that providing safety is one of our primary responsibilities?

"Our job is to maintain safety."  Is that true?  Can we really know that this is in the best interest of our clients?  When I sit with these first two questions the only answer that ultimately comes up is "no."  Granted, I can find many "reasons" to justify maintaining safety.  However, when I really inquire deeply into this thought and the question "is it true?" I start to see how unrealistic it is.  It seems that any "safety" that we create or maintain will be an illusion.  In my experience safety can not be maintained or created.  Safety is something that I experience when I open myself up to the fullness of life.  When I am closed off and protected, I feel unsafe.  When I am open and exposed, paradoxically, I feel the safest. 

"Our job is to maintain safety."  How do we as a staff react when we believe this thought?  How do we treat our clients when we believe this thought?  Does it cause stress or peace in our facility?  We become vigilant about looking for unsafe behavior.  We treat our clients with the assumption that they are too fragile or immature to deal with certain situations.  This thought creates much stress in our facility.  The staff are burdening themselves with the responsibility of maintaining safety for our clients instead of helping our clients to see that they can experience safety no matter what is going on around them.

"Our job is to maintain safety."  Who would we be as a staff if we could not think this thought?  How would we treat our clients differently without this thought?  What would life be like in our treatment center without this thought?  We would be there with our clients as they face many different situations.  We would trust more in the resilience of our clients and in their abilities to deal with whatever comes up.  The staff could relax and stop looking so hard for "problems."  The staff would start trusting the clients to deal with the issues that come up without us having to come to their rescue.  The clients would then feel more empowered and prepared to deal with life in the "real world" -- a world that is complicated, unpredictable and constantly changing. 

"Our job is to maintain safety."  How might we turn this thought around?  "Our job is not to maintain safety."  "The client's job is to maintain safety."  "Our job is to dismantle safety."  "Our job is to reveal reality."  Let's look more closely at "Our job is to dismantle safety" and "Our job is to reveal reality." 

The opposite of "maintain" seems to be "dismantle."  Seeing reality as "unsafe" is a story that we tell ourselves about reality, about the world in and around us.  Byron Katie tells us, "Reality is always kinder than the story we tell about it."  My experience has also been that reality is kind.  Even when someone else might tell the story that a situation is unsafe, it is possible to have the experience that the situation is perfect, just as it is.  Our job can be to stop trying to maintain or manufacture a sense of safety and instead help our clients to see reality more clearly -- a reality that is safe, kind and perfect at the same time that is complicated, unpredictable and constantly changing.  If we lived these two turnarounds we might change our basic philosophy.  We could change it to "Our job is to be there with our clients as they learn to face life on life's terms."

What about the turnaround  "The client's job is to maintain safety"?  It is the client's job to maintain (realize, recognize, discover) the safety that already exists.  Katie has also said, "Everything exists to support you - and only you."  "Everything" includes what might seem to be "unsafe."  It is the client's job to realize that, no matter the situation on the "outside," their experience can be one of "safety and support."  I am learning more and more that no matter what happens, I am safe.  No matter the situation, I am supported.  Safety is an inner reality that our clients can discover for themselves.  Then they will see that the world reflects back to them the safety that they are.  This is not something that we can impose on our clients.  It is something that they have to experience for themselves.  It is not our job.  It is there job.

It was while reading Katie's new book, A Thousand Names for Joy, that I was prompted to write this essay.  Her commentary on Chapter 58 of the Tao Te Ching is amazing.  Here is my turnaround of the paragraph at the bottom of page 186 that begins with the sentence, "It's painful to think you know what's best for your children."

"It's painful to think we know what's best for our clients.  It's hopeless.  When we think that we need to protect them, we're teaching them anxiety and dependence.  But when we question our minds and learn how not to be mentally in their business, finally there's an example in the facility: someone who knows how to live a happy life.  They notice that we have our act together and that we're happy, so they start to follow.  We have taught them everything they know about anxiety and dependence, and now they begin to learn something else, something about what freedom looks like." 

I realize that this is my truth.  I cannot and will not impose my experience on the clients or staff.  I love that I have found a way to question my own stressful thoughts.  I love that I have found that no matter what happens, I am safe.  I love that I can live from this place of inner and outer safety.  My hope is that others will be able to know the safety, support and peace that is always present whether seen or not. 

Of course, I realize that we have a responsibility to maintain as much order and stability in our treatment center as possible.  We cannot let the clients do whatever they want.  I just worry when we tell our clients that our job is to keep them safe or that we will keep them safe.  I do not see that we have the power to do that.  We cannot know what is going to happen, and we cannot always know what to do to prevent unsafe situations.  However, we can be there.  We can be there with our clients as life happens.  We can support them in finding their own inner strength.  We can support them in learning how to address difficult situations as they arise.  We can be there with them as they discover they are already safe.