From Conceptual to Perceptual Mountains

"First there is a mountain, 

Then there is no mountain,

Then there is."

As we practice Integrative Restoration - iRest - Yoga Nidra we will experience three movements - construction, deconstruction and re-entry.  During the movement of construction we are learning how to welcome the countless structures or forms - the various bodies or sheaths and their respective sensations, emotions, thoughts, etc. - that arise in awareness.  During the movement of deconstruction we experience all forms dissolve into their home ground of Pure Awareness.  We are disidentifying from form - from the sheaths - and discovering ourselves as Awareness itself within which these forms arise and within which they ultimately dissolve.  During the re-entry we return to the world of form-identity.  However, we do so with the realization of who we really are.  We are able to play in the world of form without the need to create a false identity. 

"First there is a mountain..." 

First, there are separate bodies and egos with their opposites of sensation, emotion, belief, etc.  There is "me" and there is "you."  There are mountains and there are valleys.  We live in a world of duality - a world of separation. 

"Then there is no mountain..." 

Then, as we gradually deconstruct all form-identity through a process of deep self-inquiry, we experience the reality of non-separation and non-duality.  We see that there are no separate bodies or egos.  We see the illusory nature of all dualism and experience what Buddhists call "emptiness" - "the absence of conceptual construction" (Puhakka, 2007, p. 158). 

"Then there is."

Finally, we seemingly return to the world of form, the world of separate bodies and egos, while retaining the knowledge of who we truly are.  We are engaged in the world at the same time that we remain as True Nature.  We realize that abiding in a state of "non-dual bliss" that is separate and apart from the world of duality is itself a form of dualism.  It is as if we become the very embodiment of paradox itself - empty fullness, self as other, other as self. 

"First there are conceptual mountains,

then there are no concepts,

then there are perceptual mountains"

--- Jean Klein

Meditative self-inquiry allows us to see reality clearly rather than through the filter of our concepts - our stories.  At first we see through a dark glass.  Then we see face to face.

One way to conceive of how this works with Integrative Restoration is to think of each sheath as if it were a layer of clothing.  The constructive phase of iRest consists of integrating each sheath into the fabric of our self-identity and sensitizing ourselves to it.  We are not attaching to the sheath.  We are also not resisting it.  We are learning to meet it with a sense of openness and welcoming.

We then begin the process of "disrobing" during the deconstructive phase.  Beginning with the physical body, we welcome the sensations that arise and then take that layer of clothing off and drop it on the ground.  Next, we cultivate awareness of the breath and of subtle energy before we take that layer of clothing off and drop it on the ground.  We continue through each sheath - feelings and emotions, the intellect, bliss, and the "ego-I" - welcoming and then disrobing, until we get to what we know as our "essential nakedness."  We are now restored to True Nature - Awareness Itself - free of identification with form.

Now that we are restored to our home ground of Awareness, we are ready for the re-entry.  We are ready to return to the "marketplace."  During this return journey we pick up each sheath.  We put them back on, one layer at a time - the ego, the body of bliss, the intellect, the body of feelings and emotions, the subtle body of breath and energy, the physical body.  The difference is that now we wear these sheaths more lightly.  They no longer weigh us down.  We know our "essential nakedness."  We know who we are free of conceptual constructs.  We know who we are without our stories.

There is also a potent image for these three movements of construction, deconstruction and re-entry - the image of the labyrinth.  Before we enter the labyrinth we see and know the world of mountains and separate bodies and egos.  Once we enter the labyrinth and begin the journey to the center, we are on the path of deconstruction.  Eventually we reach the center - the core of who we are - the place of pure Presence.  We quickly realize, however, that we cannot set up camp at the center of the labyrinth.  The journey does not end there.  We then take the same path that led us to the center and begin the process of re-entry.  We return to the so-called world of mountains, bodies and egos, but now we know the truth... 

First we know mountains,

then we "no" mountains,

then we know.

--- Billy Ledford