The "Holy Encounter"

In my definition of nondual therapy I mention an aspect of the therapeutic relationship called a "holy encounter."  This is an idea from A Course in Miracles that I think is very important when it comes to psychotherapy.  But what is meant by this idea?  What does a "holy encounter" look like or consist of?  Here is how Robert Perry describes the holy encounter in his amazing book Return to the Heart of God: The Practical Philosophy of A Course in Miracles:

"One person allows into her mind a fresh perception of the other, and this sparks an encounter in which both individuals experience a new view of each other.  The chalice of true perception is passed back and forth, and as they both drink of it, they are lifted together into a timeless moment.  This moment may feel spiritual or it may not.  Yet neither one will leave it the same person, and the change that enters in this moment may change countless lives beyond their own" (emphasis added).

He then goes on to say something about this "true perception":

"The true perception that is exchanged in these encounters is a way of seeing the other person that overlooks all that would make us recoil from him or her.  This true perception, then, is simply another way of talking about forgiveness.  Forgiveness is the active ingredient in holy encounters....  [T]he full power of forgiveness lies not in the private experience of it, but in the giving and receiving of it.  That is where forgiveness has maximal power to change us and change the world around us.  And that is why the Course teaches that it is 'holy encounters in which salvation can be found" (emphasis added).  

You might then be wondering what the Course means by forgiveness.  If you are not a student of the Course or if you have not read much about it, you will probably have a very different understanding of the concept of forgiveness than is taught in the Course.  Perry often likes to distinguish between the "conventional view" and the "unconventional view" when it comes to many of the basic concepts of the Course.  It is important that we understand the differences between these two views when it comes to the concept of forgiveness.

The conventional view of forgiveness is based in the belief in "the reality of sin."  Here is how Perry defines it in his Glossary of Terms from A Course in Miracles: 

"Giving up your resentment towards another and your right to punish him, even though you keep the perception that he sinned against you and that you are justified in resenting and punishing him.  According to the Course, this forgiveness cannot forgive, for it affirms that the other sinned and thus is worthy of condemnation (yours and his own).  It also affirms that you are holier than he, because he sinned and you forgave."

The unconventional view of forgiveness is based on the "unreality of sin."  Here is how Perry defines it:

"Giving up your false perception that another sinned against you and that you are justified in resenting and punishing him....  Releasing another not from what he did, but from 'what he did not do,' from your [or his] misperception of what he did.  This can forgive, for it frees your mind of resentment and releases the other from the accusation of sin and guilt.  The rational behind forgiveness is that sin is not real.  It is a wrong perception of attack.  Attack has no power to do real harm, because what is real (in you and in your 'attacker') cannot be harmed or changed in any way.  The ultimate rationale for forgiveness is that 'the separation never occurred,' that 'I am as God created me,' that 'God's Son is guiltless'" (emphasis added).   

Perhaps now we can understand what is meant by these words that open the Course:

What all of this tells me about the "therapeutic relationship" is that my client comes to my office with their false perception of sin and its resulting guilt.  They come to me believing that they have sinned or that the world has sinned against them.  They feel both guilt and resentment and believe that both of them are justified.  If I am unconscious I will also get caught up in this misperception and start believing in this same worldview of sin, guilt and resentment.  

My job as a therapist, then, is to allow a true perception to enter into the relationship and communicate that perception to my client (not necessarily in words at first).  By not reacting to the client's misperception, but instead offering a wholly new perception, the potential is there for both of us to be lifted into a holy encounter.  The client's perception of me (and of themselves) begins to change.  By joining with the client in the unreality of sin and the reality that the separation never occurred, both of us are changed by this meeting.  And, the ripple effect of that meeting extends in countless directions, impacting countless lives.