Ariel Tomioka and My Vision of Wholeness

            An associate of mine (Carol S.) recently wrote about how she did a "Google" search on herself and found a blog about her written by her best friend from high school.  This was a friend that she had not spoken to in many years due to an argument, and she was thrilled that she was now reconciling with her.  This got me thinking.  I decided that I would try something similar and see if I could re-connect with a long-lost friend.

            It would be more accurate to call her a long-lost teacher.  Her name is Ariel Tomioka, and she changed my life in many ways.  She is the author of an autobiographical novel called On the Breath of the Gods.  I am not sure if this book is in print any more.  I am also not sure if Ariel is still writing and teaching.  I have not spoken to her in about 12 years. 

            I cannot even remember how I discovered her.  What I do know is that she was a former member of a "new age" religion called Eckankar that I was also a member of at one time.  She had left the religion and started teaching on her own.  She had come a long way from the doctrines of Eckankar and her teachings were more influenced by Jungian Psychology, Quantum Physics and "creative types" such as Rainer Maria Rilke and Robert Henri. 

            I attended her "Art Spirit Retreat" in 1993 and her "Spiritual Leadership Training" that was held, I believe, in 1994.  Both of these were held in St. Louis.  It was the "Art Spirit Retreat" that was the most influential for me.  I had two experiences at this retreat that affected me profoundly and that I will never forget.  I have written about one already in my blog titled "Waking Dreams."  This was the experience that I had walking the maze at the Botanical Gardens.  The other experience was an exercise that Ariel guided us through called "Your Vision of Wholeness."

            She guided us through a meditation in which we were to, first, imagine that we were completely, physically content and at peace.  She then asked us to imagine that we were emotionally, then mentally, then spiritually at peace and contended.  This meditation took several minutes.  Once we had this "feeling" of physical, emotional, mental and spiritual peace, we were instructed to "see" what we were doing that was giving us this amazing feeling.  I immediately saw myself sitting with another person in what I knew was a therapeutic relationship of some sort.  This became my "Vision of Wholeness."

            Once I got home I started telling Richard all about my trip and about the various exercises.  When I started to tell him about my new Vision he interrupted me and said that he had been thinking while I was gone.  He had "decided" that I needed to go back to college.  I told him, "I know I do" and proceeded to tell him about my Vision.  I thought that I would major in psychology, but Richard, a social worker, convinced me to get my master's degree in social work. 

            Ever since then this Vision has continued to inform my life and guide me through many different phases.  My Vision has also evolved and has become very detailed.  I "see" the building that I will be working in.  I "see" the furniture and pictures on the walls.  I even have a name for it - "The Ouachita Center for Awakened Living" ("Ouachita" is the parish that I live in and the river that separates Monroe, LA from West Monroe, LA - it is named after the Ouachita Indians and means "Silver Waters").

            I realize that I might not ever "realize" this Vision of mine.  I am also very happy with where I am in my life at this moment.  But, I am still working towards this Vision and still get excited just thinking about it.  Ariel use to say that she wants to "die with her boots on."  She wants to die "right in the middle of my life's work."  In other words, she wants to truly live, until the day she dies.  She does not want to hold anything back or put off happiness ‘til some future time.  She also doesn't want to feel that she has to finish anything before she dies.  She wants to live every moment of her life like it is her last.

            Ariel and I went our "separate ways" right after the "Spiritual Leadership Training."  At the time I was young and naïve and felt that I was growing beyond her.  I might have even hurt her feelings with some of what I had said to her.  I feel really horrible about this and would love to let her know.  I am so grateful to her and all that she showed me about myself.  I want her to know this and understand that I was wrong in what I said to her.

            I now have a new, female, spiritual teacher in Byron Katie.  I went to her "School for The Work" this year and am now even closer to my Vision as a result.  I view The Work as the most powerful therapeutic and spiritual tool that I have ever come across.  I am very excited about the direction my life is taking and the many blessings that I have had.

            Ariel Tomioka ----- Byron Katie ----- two women who have "shown me the way" and have "mothered" me in ways that they will probably never know.  Thank you both so very much.