The Greatest Commandment:

And one of the scribes came and heard them arguing, and recognizing that He had answered them well, asked Him, "What commandment is the foremost of all?" Jesus answered, "The foremost is, 'Hear, O Israel! The Lord our God is one Lord; and you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength.' "The second is this, 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no other commandment greater than these."

From A Course in Miracles:

"5 You cannot behave appropriately unless you perceive correctly. 6 Since you and your neighbor are equal members of one family, as you perceive both so you will do to both. 7 You should look out from the perception of your own holiness to the holiness of others." T-1.III.6.

"6 It is impossible for a child of God to love his neighbor except as himself. 7 That is why the healer's prayer is:

8 Let me know this brother as I know myself."  T-5.in.3.

In a recent conversation with my Course teacher, I understood a teaching of the Course in a way that I hadn't before.  The Course teaches that God has only one Son.  The Course also teaches that the Son has many parts.  Each of us make up the Son of God.  We are all parts of the Sonship, and each part of the Sonship contains the whole. 

Robert Perry has used the analogy of a hologram to describe this teaching.  In his book Return to the Heart of God he writes, 

"Yet even though these members are called parts, they are completely unlike parts as we know them. A car is a good example of how parts operate in this world. To make a car, you take separate parts, which are different in size, shape, and function, and assemble them together into a larger whole. The parts of God's Son, however, are nothing like that. They are not separate from each other; they are all one. They are not different in size, shape and function; they are exactly the same in every way. And they are not smaller pieces of a larger whole. Every part contains the whole; each part has the entire whole inside of it. Indeed, "every aspect is the whole" (T-13.VIII.5:3). Thus, the whole is not made up of smaller parts. Rather, each part is literally made of the whole. Though we cannot truly imagine this state, a useful analogy in our world is the hologram, every part of which contains the same three-dimensional image; each part contains the whole."

This is a truly radical teaching.  The implications of this teaching, if fully embraced, will completely transform the way we relate to one another.  What I realize is that if I attack my brother in any way, those same attack thoughts and behaviors are attacking me -- and not just me, but the entire Sonship.  If I extend healing to my brother, I am being healed -- and not just me, but the entire Sonship.  Also, as I accept the Atonement for myself, I am doing so for the entire Sonship.  Healing in any one part of the Sonship is healing in the entire Sonship.  Attack of any one part of the Sonship is attack on the entire Sonship.

Fortunately, attack is not real and has no real effect.  It only seems to be real.  Only love is real because only love can be truly shared.  It makes so much sense to me now to realize that I learn what I am teaching and I receive what I am giving.  If I teach only love, as the Course advocates, then I am learning it.  As I give forgiveness, I am receiving it.

Understanding this one teaching is having a profound impact on my personal relationships.  How can I attack any one person, knowing that I am attacking myself and the whole of the Sonship at the same time?  How can I not extend love, forgiveness, or healing to any one of my brothers when withholding these from him is the same as withholding them from myself and the whole of the Sonship?  This teaching is helping me to see exactly how it is that we are all one.  And, realizing this, I am understanding why love is the only possible response to anyone, in any circumstance.

The second part of the Great Commandment is, "You shall love your neighbor as yourself."  I use to understand this to mean that I am to love my neighbor in the same way (in the same manner) that I love myself.  What I now understand this to mean is that my neighbor is myself.  We are being instructed to love our neighbor as ourselves, because our neighbor is our very self.

Quotes from the Course:

"1 It should especially be noted that God has only one Son. 2 If all His creations are His Sons, every one must be an integral part of the whole Sonship. 3 The Sonship in its Oneness transcends the sum of its parts. 4 However, this is obscured as long as any of its parts is missing. 5 That is why the conflict cannot ultimately be resolved until all the parts of the Sonship have returned. 6 Only then can the meaning of wholeness in the true sense be understood. 7 Any part of the Sonship can believe in error or incompleteness if he so chooses. 8 However, if he does so, he is believing in the existence of nothingness. 9 The correction of this error is the Atonement." T-2.VII.6.

"6 ...[I]t makes no difference to what part or by what part of the Sonship the healing is offered. 7 Every part benefits, and benefits equally." T-5.in.2.

"3 The recognition of the part as whole, and of the whole in every part is perfectly natural, for it is the way God thinks, and what is natural to Him is natural to you." T-16.II.3

"3 It [attack] is unjustified in any form, because it has no meaning. 4 The only way it could be justified is if you and your brother were separate from the other, and all were separate from your Creator. 5 For only then would it be possible to attack a part of the creation without the whole, the Son without the Father; and to attack another without yourself, or hurt yourself without the other feeling pain." T-22.VI.12

"1 I thank You, Father, knowing You will come to close each little gap that lies between the broken pieces of Your holy Son. 2 Your Holiness, complete and perfect, lies in every one of them. 3 And they are joined because what is in one is in them all. 4 How holy is the smallest grain of sand, when it is recognized as being part of the completed picture of God's Son! 5 The forms the broken pieces seem to take mean nothing. 6 For the whole is in each one. 7 And every aspect of the Son of God is just the same as every other part." T-28.IV.9

"4 I thank You, Father, for Your perfect Son, and in his glory will I see my own." T-30.VI.9

Here are the fundamental tenets of Dr. King's philosophy of nonviolence described in his first book, Stride Toward Freedom. 

(1.) Nonviolence is not passive, but requires courage.

(2.) Nonviolence seeks reconciliation, not defeat of an adversary.

(3.) Nonviolent action is directed at eliminating evil, not destroying an evil-doer.

(4.) A willingness to accept suffering for the cause, if necessary, but never to inflict it.

(5.) A rejection of hatred, animosity or violence of the spirit, as well as refusal to commit physical violence. 

(6.) Faith that justice will prevail.

We are taught by the author of A Course in Miracles, "As you teach so shall you learn."  This is one of my favorite teachings of the Course.  Here is a quote from chapter 6 of the Text:

T-6.III.4. Since you cannot not teach, your salvation lies in teaching the exact opposite of everything the ego believes. 2 This is how you will learn the truth that will set you free, and will keep you free as others learn it of you. 3 The only way to have peace is to teach peace. 4 By teaching peace you must learn it yourself, because you cannot teach what you still dissociate. 5 Only thus can you win back the knowledge that you threw away. 6 An idea that you share you must have. 7 It awakens in your mind through the conviction of teaching it. 8 Everything you teach you are learning. 9 Teach only love, and learn that love is yours and you are love.

We are always teaching.  We teach by our words and example -- by our behavior.  It is also true that we are learning what we are teaching.  As the Course also says, "What you teach you strengthen in yourself because you are sharing it.  Every lesson you teach you are learning" (T-6.III.1:9-10).

In the CD set called "Walking the Path of Light," Robert Perry puts it this way:

1) Behavior expresses the beliefs that motivate it
2) It thus teaches those beliefs to others
3) By teaching those beliefs to others, it reinforces them within yourself. "What you share you strengthen" (T-5.III.3:5).

There are two questions that I like to ask myself from time to time that help me to assess my behavior -- two questions that I use as a form of meditative self-inquiry.  They help me to uncover the beliefs that are motivating my behavior.  They also help me to gently change my behavior if I see that it is not expressing beliefs that I value.

1) In this moment, what am I teaching?
2) In this moment, what do I want to learn?
 

In a previous blog entry I described my experience of being at a retreat in St. Louis led by Ariel Tomioka and how she led us through an exercise which revealed our "vision of wholeness."  I described how this vision has informed my life during the past 12 years or so and has become more detailed as I have imagined the form that it will take in the world.  Recently I have revisited this vision and, thanks to my studies in A Course in Miracles, have realized that I have been living this vision all along without even realizing it.

In the last couple of months I have been engaging in an intense study of the Text of the Course (a three volume work with a Text, a Workbook and a Manual for Teachers).  This study has been guided by weekly phone conversations with a Course teacher in Palm Springs, CA as well as my membership in the Circle Course Community (CCC) through the Circle of Atonement (http://www.circleofa.org/).  I was introduced to my Course teacher through Robert Perry, founder of the Circle of Atonement and author of such books as Path of Light and Return to the Heart of God.

In a recent conversation with my teacher I understood the difference between my vision and what the Course calls our "special function."  I have always associated my vision with a building.  The very word "vision" implies that there is something "to see."  I had this vision of a building that I called "The Center."  It all started as a result of the exercise with Ariel Tomioka when I "saw" myself sitting with another person in what I knew was a therapeutic relationship.  I went from that image of me sitting across from this person to an image of the building, the furniture, the rooms, the landscaping, etc.  I believed that if I imagined it clearly enough then it would become my reality (as in the "law of attraction").  

Because I developed this detailed vision of a building and all that it "means" to me, I had recently started to doubt that I was living my vision.  I do not have a building.  I have an office in my house.  How can I live my vision if the outer form does not match the way that I have imagined it? 

I have realized that, as long as I associate "living my vision" with a building or anything in the world of form, I will not believe that I am living it if the world does not conform to that vision.  What I realized is that I have been looking in the wrong place.  This is where the "special function" comes in.

According to the Course, all of us have a special function to play in the salvation of the world (similar to the bodhisattva of Buddhism who vows to serve all living beings and help them to attain enlightenment).  All of us have the same function -- forgiveness - which, according to the Course, is the means of salvation.  Each of us has a "special" way that we carry out that function -- this is our "special function."  The special function is not something that requires any form to exist in the outer world before we can carry it out.  Since it is simply about the special way that we extend forgiveness, its only requirement is that there be at least one other person for us to relate to so that forgiveness can be extended (and shared). 

What I have realized is that I am engaging in my special function all of the time.  It seems that my special function has something to do with my role as a therapist/teacher -- I say "seems" because the Holy Spirit could reveal something completely different to me, and I am open to that.  My function is to extend forgiveness.  How, when, where and with whom is my "special function."

My "vision of wholeness" and the insistence that it "look a certain way" has blinded me to what I have been doing all this time.  I have been more focused on form ("the shape something takes" - Robert Perry, Glossary of Terms from A Course in Miracles) instead of on content ("the essential meaning which that form is meant to communicate" - Perry, Glossary of Terms).  As long as I believe that form matters, I will spend my days trying to arrange the outer world a certain way.  I will believe that my happiness is dependent on the best possible arrangement of forms in the outer world.  If I can shift instead to content, then I will realize that what is more important is that I fulfill my function.  Nothing in the world of form can make me fulfill my special function.  Nothing in the world of form can keep me from fulfilling my special function.

As Jesus says in reference to our special function, "The content is the same.  The form is suited to your special needs, and to the special time and place in which you think you find yourself, and where you can be free of place and time, and all that you believe must limit you.  The Son of God cannot be bound by time nor place nor anything God did not will" (T-25.VII.7.).

How long will I continue to limit myself by time or place?  How long am I going to "wait" before I realize who I am?  How long am I going to make my brother wait before I extend to him the forgiveness that will set us both free - the forgiveness that is ours to share?  What will need to take place for me to fulfill my special function in this world?  The truth is, there is no time to wait and there is no "thing" that need be done.  Glory, halleluiah!

(Note:  I wrote this poem on the fourth day of the 10-day silent meditation retreat I attended with Richard Miller in San Rafael, CA at the Santa Sabina Retreat Center.  The quote from Our Lady of Medjugorje was from that day's meditation in the book Mary's Vineyard by Andrew Harvey.  I read the quote after having written the poem.  The picture attached to this entry shows the altar that the book was sitting on before the statue of Mary in the chapel.)

May 26 -- Our Lady, Medjugorje   1986
"If you abandon yourselves to me, you will not even feel the passage from this life to the next.  You will begin to live the life of heaven on earth."

"If you abandon yourselves to me, you will not even feel the passage from this life to the next.  You will begin to live the life of heaven on earth."

"First there is a mountain, 

Then there is no mountain,

Then there is."

As we practice Integrative Restoration - iRest - Yoga Nidra we will experience three movements - construction, deconstruction and re-entry.  During the movement of construction we are learning how to welcome the countless structures or forms - the various bodies or sheaths and their respective sensations, emotions, thoughts, etc. - that arise in awareness.  During the movement of deconstruction we experience all forms dissolve into their home ground of Pure Awareness.  We are disidentifying from form - from the sheaths - and discovering ourselves as Awareness itself within which these forms arise and within which they ultimately dissolve.  During the re-entry we return to the world of form-identity.  However, we do so with the realization of who we really are.  We are able to play in the world of form without the need to create a false identity. 

"First there is a mountain..." 

First, there are separate bodies and egos with their opposites of sensation, emotion, belief, etc.  There is "me" and there is "you."  There are mountains and there are valleys.  We live in a world of duality - a world of separation. 

"Then there is no mountain..." 

Then, as we gradually deconstruct all form-identity through a process of deep self-inquiry, we experience the reality of non-separation and non-duality.  We see that there are no separate bodies or egos.  We see the illusory nature of all dualism and experience what Buddhists call "emptiness" - "the absence of conceptual construction" (Puhakka, 2007, p. 158). 

"Then there is."

Finally, we seemingly return to the world of form, the world of separate bodies and egos, while retaining the knowledge of who we truly are.  We are engaged in the world at the same time that we remain as True Nature.  We realize that abiding in a state of "non-dual bliss" that is separate and apart from the world of duality is itself a form of dualism.  It is as if we become the very embodiment of paradox itself - empty fullness, self as other, other as self. 

 

"First there are conceptual mountains,

then there are no concepts,

then there are perceptual mountains"

--- Jean Klein

 

Meditative self-inquiry allows us to see reality clearly rather than through the filter of our concepts - our stories.  At first we see through a dark glass.  Then we see face to face.

One way to conceive of how this works with Integrative Restoration is to think of each sheath as if it were a layer of clothing.  The constructive phase of iRest consists of integrating each sheath into the fabric of our self-identity and sensitizing ourselves to it.  We are not attaching to the sheath.  We are also not resisting it.  We are learning to meet it with a sense of openness and welcoming.

We then begin the process of "disrobing" during the deconstructive phase.  Beginning with the physical body, we welcome the sensations that arise and then take that layer of clothing off and drop it on the ground.  Next, we cultivate awareness of the breath and of subtle energy before we take that layer of clothing off and drop it on the ground.  We continue through each sheath - feelings and emotions, the intellect, bliss, and the "ego-I" - welcoming and then disrobing, until we get to what we know as our "essential nakedness."  We are now restored to True Nature - Awareness Itself - free of identification with form.

Now that we are restored to our home ground of Awareness, we are ready for the re-entry.  We are ready to return to the "marketplace."  During this return journey we pick up each sheath.  We put them back on, one layer at a time - the ego, the body of bliss, the intellect, the body of feelings and emotions, the subtle body of breath and energy, the physical body.  The difference is that now we wear these sheaths more lightly.  They no longer weigh us down.  We know our "essential nakedness."  We know who we are free of conceptual constructs.  We know who we are without our stories.

There is also a potent image for these three movements of construction, deconstruction and re-entry - the image of the labyrinth.  Before we enter the labyrinth we see and know the world of mountains and separate bodies and egos.  Once we enter the labyrinth and begin the journey to the center, we are on the path of deconstruction.  Eventually we reach the center - the core of who we are - the place of pure Presence.  We quickly realize, however, that we cannot set up camp at the center of the labyrinth.  The journey does not end there.  We then take the same path that led us to the center and begin the process of re-entry.  We return to the so-called world of mountains, bodies and egos, but now we know the truth... 

First we know mountains,

then we "no" mountains,

then we know.

--- Billy Ledford

In my definition of nondual therapy I mention an aspect of the therapeutic relationship called a "holy encounter."  This is an idea from A Course in Miracles that I think is very important when it comes to psychotherapy.  But what is meant by this idea?  What does a "holy encounter" look like or consist of?  Here is how Robert Perry describes the holy encounter in his amazing book Return to the Heart of God: The Practical Philosophy of A Course in Miracles:

"One person allows into her mind a fresh perception of the other, and this sparks an encounter in which both individuals experience a new view of each other.  The chalice of true perception is passed back and forth, and as they both drink of it, they are lifted together into a timeless moment.  This moment may feel spiritual or it may not.  Yet neither one will leave it the same person, and the change that enters in this moment may change countless lives beyond their own" (emphasis added).

He then goes on to say something about this "true perception":

"The true perception that is exchanged in these encounters is a way of seeing the other person that overlooks all that would make us recoil from him or her.  This true perception, then, is simply another way of talking about forgiveness.  Forgiveness is the active ingredient in holy encounters....  [T]he full power of forgiveness lies not in the private experience of it, but in the giving and receiving of it.  That is where forgiveness has maximal power to change us and change the world around us.  And that is why the Course teaches that it is 'holy encounters in which salvation can be found" (emphasis added).  

You might then be wondering what the Course means by forgiveness.  If you are not a student of the Course or if you have not read much about it, you will probably have a very different understanding of the concept of forgiveness than is taught in the Course.  Perry often likes to distinguish between the "conventional view" and the "unconventional view" when it comes to many of the basic concepts of the Course.  It is important that we understand the differences between these two views when it comes to the concept of forgiveness.

The conventional view of forgiveness is based in the belief in "the reality of sin."  Here is how Perry defines it in his Glossary of Terms from A Course in Miracles: 

"Giving up your resentment towards another and your right to punish him, even though you keep the perception that he sinned against you and that you are justified in resenting and punishing him.  According to the Course, this forgiveness cannot forgive, for it affirms that the other sinned and thus is worthy of condemnation (yours and his own).  It also affirms that you are holier than he, because he sinned and you forgave."

The unconventional view of forgiveness is based on the "unreality of sin."  Here is how Perry defines it:

"Giving up your false perception that another sinned against you and that you are justified in resenting and punishing him....  Releasing another not from what he did, but from 'what he did not do,' from your [or his] misperception of what he did.  This can forgive, for it frees your mind of resentment and releases the other from the accusation of sin and guilt.  The rational behind forgiveness is that sin is not real.  It is a wrong perception of attack.  Attack has no power to do real harm, because what is real (in you and in your 'attacker') cannot be harmed or changed in any way.  The ultimate rationale for forgiveness is that 'the separation never occurred,' that 'I am as God created me,' that 'God's Son is guiltless'" (emphasis added).   

Perhaps now we can understand what is meant by these words that open the Course:

What all of this tells me about the "therapeutic relationship" is that my client comes to my office with their false perception of sin and its resulting guilt.  They come to me believing that they have sinned or that the world has sinned against them.  They feel both guilt and resentment and believe that both of them are justified.  If I am unconscious I will also get caught up in this misperception and start believing in this same worldview of sin, guilt and resentment.  

My job as a therapist, then, is to allow a true perception to enter into the relationship and communicate that perception to my client (not necessarily in words at first).  By not reacting to the client's misperception, but instead offering a wholly new perception, the potential is there for both of us to be lifted into a holy encounter.  The client's perception of me (and of themselves) begins to change.  By joining with the client in the unreality of sin and the reality that the separation never occurred, both of us are changed by this meeting.  And, the ripple effect of that meeting extends in countless directions, impacting countless lives.

(An update on some previous entries)

The Work of Byron Katie is unlike anything else. However, it seems that the mind's job is to compare and contrast. The mind has a hard time with something if it can't place it in a category. And, any categorization of The Work is placing limits on it. At the same time, discussing The Work in these ways helps me to communicate better with my colleagues and clients. Of course better than describing The Work is doing The Work. The Work speaks for itself and describes itself in the doing of it.

That being said, here goes:

The approach to psychotherapy known as "Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy" is said to be a method of "cognitive restructuring." You identify your irrational thoughts and see how they lead to painful emotions like fear, depression, anger, etc. You then notice how those irrational thoughts and their resulting emotions lead to actions that cause even more pain for yourself and others. Thought = Emotion = Behavior.

Therefore, if we want to change our emotions and behavior we need to work on changing our thoughts. This is where cognitive restructuring comes in. We replace our irrational, unhealthy thoughts with rational, healthy ones. We "challenge" our unhealthy thinking. Healthy thinking will lead to healthy emotions that results in healthy behavior.

So, how does The Work of Byron Katie differ from this approach? Some people might think that The Work is just a re-packaged form of REBT. I use to tell people over and over again that this is not so. However, I had a hard time explaining how it differs. I have done much thinking about this and have come upon a way of explaining the differences that seems to make sense to me.

I know that I am not the first one to put it this way. One of my favorite books is The Sacred Mirror: Nondual Wisdom and Psychotherapy. There is a chapter in this book called "Deconstructing the Self: The Uses of Inquiry in Psychotherapy and Spiritual Practice" by Stephan Bodian that specifically refers to The Work along with other methods of inquiry. He essentially says the same thing that I have realized. He calls it "deconstructing" to distinguish it form "reconstructing." In Emptiness Dancing Adyashanti says it in his own way. He refers to the difference between "re-framing" and "de-framing." Along with those terms I would like to add a third - "cognitive de-structuring."

The little prefix "de" means "undoing." That other prefix "re" means "repetition of a previous action; back to an earlier state or condition; again; contrary." De-construction, de-framing and de-structuring, therefore, have to do with undoing our mental constructs, frames of reference, and thought structures. We are not repeating the same old process of creating mental constructs - no matter how "healthy" they might be. We are not going back to an earlier state. We are not doing again what has failed us in the past - i.e., constructing thoughts to explain reality. We are not creating thought forms that are contrary to the way things are.

The process, using The Work, is something like this: We identify our unhealthy thinking. We inquire into the truth of these thoughts and see that they are not true for us. We see the suffering that results from believing thoughts that are not true. We get a glimpse of what life would be like without these thoughts and we turn them around. All of this results in our thoughts loosening their grip on us. We do not change them. We do not stop them. We question them, and they let go of us. The thought structures are seen as just that - thought structures. They are not reality. And, as Eckhart Tolle says in A New Earth, "all structures are unstable."

Another way of putting this is that one approach has to do with moving from one way of thinking (unhealthy, irrational) to a different way of thinking (healthy, rational). The problem is that we are still operating in the realm of thinking. It is like taking a pig and putting lipstick and a dress on it -- you still have a pig.

The other approach is about moving from a way of thinking (stressful) to a way of being (peace itself). The fourth question of The Work is "Who would you be without that thought?" It is a question about being. The Work takes us out of the realm of thinking all-together and opens us up to our true nature.

We see that a pig is a pig no matter how we might dress it up. A thought is just a thought. It does not define reality no matter how "rational" or "healthy" it is. Who we are is that which is there before the thought, that which is background (often obscured) during the thought, and that which remains after the thought is questioned.

(Note: This is a meditation that I wrote recently for my church's Advent Calendar that will be coming out soon.)
  

The one called "Prince of Peace" said, at the beginning of the violent conclusion to his earthly life, "Put your sword back where it belongs.  For everyone who takes up the sword will be done in by the sword" (Matthew 26:52, Scholars Version).  These were the last words that he spoke to his disciples before his crucifixion.  It was his final teaching, if you will.  He then faced betrayal, ridicule, scorn, violence and crucifixion - never once resisting, defending or retaliating.  Even unto his death he was showing the Way. 

During the season of Advent we are preparing our hearts and minds for the arrival of the Prince of Peace - the one who incarnated the Way, the Truth and the Life.  What was this Way that Jesus taught and lived?  What does his final teaching to his disciples reveal to us regarding this Way?  In our times and in our lives, what would it mean for us to put away our swords?

According to many Biblical scholars, the summation of Jesus' teachings can be found in chapters 5-7 of Matthew's Gospel - traditionally called "The Sermon on the Mount."  It is here that we are told that those who work for peace are known as God's children.  It is here that Gandhi found his inspiration for the peace movement that he led in India.  It is here that Jesus tells us to not react violently against the evildoer and to love our enemies.  Through this sermon on a mountaintop, Jesus is revealing to us the fulfillment of the Law and the Prophets.  He is a "new Moses," instructing all who can hear on a "new Way."

In the first three verses of chapter 7, Jesus says to us, "Don't pass judgment, so you won't be judged.  Don't forget, the judgment you hand out will be the judgment you get back.  And the standard you apply will be the standard applied to you" (SV).  Compare these words to the ones quoted at the beginning of this meditation:  "Put your sword back where it belongs.  For everyone who takes up the sword will be done in by the sword."  Jesus seems to be telling us the same thing in these two passages.  Violence begets violence; hatred begets hatred; judgment begets judgment.

I am reminded of the words of Martin Luther King, Jr. who said, "To the degree that I harm my brother, no matter what he is doing to me, to that extent I am harming myself."  To the degree that I judge my brother or sister, to that extent I am judging myself.  To the degree that I inflict violence in any way (thought, word or deed), to that extent I am my own victim.  The sword that I think I am using against my fellow human being is being plunged into my own heart.  The sword of violence, the sword of judgment, does me in. 

During this season of Advent, during every season of our lives, may we heed Jesus' words.  May we put away our swords.  May we accept our function as "peacemakers."  May we practice forgiveness and reconciliation.  May we all follow Jesus' Way, Jesus' Truth and Jesus' Life.

 

Dear God, please give me the courage, the heart, to walk in the Way of Jesus.

Give me the courage to love in the face of hate,

to forgive in the face of what seems unforgivable,

and to put away the sword that I might know the peace that is my birthright.

Amen

During the Yoga Nidra training at Kripalu, we did several dyads.  The dyads were ways that we could practice guiding an individual through one of the sheaths.  I had some very interesting experiences with the dyads.  There was one that was especially powerful for me.

We were exploring the sheath of intellect.  My dyad partner facilitated me first.  She guided me through a short body scan and then asked me to see if I could find a thought or belief that was spontaneously arising.  I said to her, "I am too intellectual."

"Good," she said.  "Now, see if there is a deeper thought."

This took me off guard.  I was not expecting her to say that.  I delved deeper into myself and came up with the thought, "I don't live my way into truth."  This new thought was similar to the first.  Historically, I have had the experience of being more in my head - spirituality as a head-trip. 

She then said, "Great.  Now, can you find a deeper thought than that one?" 

This was frustrating to me.  I wondered how much longer she was going to do this?  I went deeper and said to her, "I am not the truth." 

Very gently she said, "OK, one more time.  Can you find a thought underneath that one?"

I responded, "I am a liar."

I then proceeded to tell her an abbreviated version of the story about my ex-step-father creating a sign for me on two poster-boards that read, "I AM A LIAR."  This really surprised me.  This story keeps coming back up for me.  I keep thinking I am finished with it, and then there it is again.

My dyad partner asked me to describe where I felt this belief in my body.  I described a feeling of emptiness in the core of my body, around the stomach area.  She said to me, "the solar plexus - the place of identity and self-esteem."  She then asked me to step back from the sensation into Awareness itself and then describe what I felt.  This is one of the most important aspects of Yoga Nidra.  You experience the sensation, emotion or thought fully.  Then you "step back" (dis-identify) and step into Awareness itself (of course, we are not stepping anywhere, since Awareness is all-pervasive).  You then describe what you experience in this "placeless place."  I described, "an enveloping, embracing kindness or compassion."  It was if I was being held and embraced by Love itself. 

This was a powerful experience for me.  Never before had I made the connection between this core belief and my tendency to intellectualize.  Intellectualizing = being a liar.  Staying in my head, playing around in the realm of theory, keeps me from embodying my truth.  Since this brief experience with Yoga Nidra, I see how "I am a liar" could very well be my linchpin belief.

Later that evening I walked the labyrinth at Kripalu (see the picture above).  During the walk to the center of the labyrinth, I did The Work on the belief, "I am a liar."  Once I reached the center I sat down on the grass and turned the belief around to, "I am Truth Itself."  I sat with this turnaround for a while before beginning the slow walk back out into my life.  During my return walk I repeated the turnaround to myself over and over and reflected on how, no matter what my past or my future - no matter what happens on the relative plane - my very being is Truth Itself.  And, nothing can change that.

Once I exited the labyrinth I tore a sheet of paper from my journal and wrote the words, ..."I am a liar" with an arrow pointing to the words, "I am Truth Itself"...  I placed the slip of paper beneath a rock in the labyrinth and left it behind.  Now, when I practice Yoga Nidra, my heart-felt prayer is "I am Truth Itself."

Later that evening I was reading the iRest manual and the following words struck me.  They reminded me of what it felt like when I stepped back into Awareness during this dyad:

"True Nature... is like a mother's loving, non-judging and compassionate caress.  It surrounds and pervades all, sorrow, conflict, grief, pain and joy, with compassionate tenderness and love."